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from alaink1:
hello
like your profile. new to the area and hoping to meet some new people. if u see my email hopefully u will see that i think your beautiful,
ciao
alain
From Me:
You clearly did not read the profile.
from alaink1:
i sent u a cut and paste message because thats all u meritt. so fuck off. i think its funny so fuck off. your a lame bitch and have been kicked out of better whore houses so fuck off. so fuck off. i feel sorry for anyman that has to put up with a confused dyke so fuck off. try a woman so fuck off. fuck off, lololololol therres your clue to a joke so fuck off
Report this
0% Enemy1% Friend70% Match Message from alaink1
From me:
what a douche. No wonder you have to use cut and paste messages, you have no imagination of your own.
That's quality right here. THIS is what women have to put up with on a daily basis. His original message, for all that it's a form letter, is pretty polite. We have no way of knowing that rejecting a man who presents politely will react in such a violet and aggressive manner. In person, that's a terrifying thought. I never wish to have to draw my knife on another person for refusing my rejection again, but I carry it because I had to once, so I may have to once more.
Also, if you follow the link to his profile, you'll notice that he's not some punk kid - he's a 42 year old man who should know better. But I wouldn't be able to tell that from his behaviour or his atrocious spelling and grammar.
I understand that it feels bad to know that women are automatically defensive around you men when you have done nothing to merit that defensiveness. But please understand that it's the fault of assholes like this that are responsible. He did nothing to merit my defenses either, at first. If you were bombarded daily, online and in person, by people giving you unwanted attention, and by refusing rejections, and when those people are always bigger and stronger than you, you would understand just how frightening the world can be.
It is safer for me to assume that you will harm me and be wrong, than it is for me to assume that you are just as nice as you seem at first and then be wrong about that.
THIS is the reason why women stay away from certain places, like gaming communities and atheist communities, and it will take the assistance of the genuinely nice guys to stand up to these fucktards - not to "protect the wimmenfolk", but to exact a social penalty on such bad behaviour and simultaneously distinguishing between the "good guys" and the "bad guys", so that we can more easily tell who really deserves our defenses and who doesn't.
This, by the way, violates the TOS under the Conduct Clause. Please make liberal use of the Report button when someone approaches you and harasses you in this manner. Maybe we can kick out most of the assholes and make places like OKC safer for women - that way the nice guys can actually find us.
hello
like your profile. new to the area and hoping to meet some new people. if u see my email hopefully u will see that i think your beautiful,
ciao
alain
From Me:
You clearly did not read the profile.
from alaink1:
i sent u a cut and paste message because thats all u meritt. so fuck off. i think its funny so fuck off. your a lame bitch and have been kicked out of better whore houses so fuck off. so fuck off. i feel sorry for anyman that has to put up with a confused dyke so fuck off. try a woman so fuck off. fuck off, lololololol therres your clue to a joke so fuck off
Report this
0% Enemy1% Friend70% Match Message from alaink1
From me:
what a douche. No wonder you have to use cut and paste messages, you have no imagination of your own.
That's quality right here. THIS is what women have to put up with on a daily basis. His original message, for all that it's a form letter, is pretty polite. We have no way of knowing that rejecting a man who presents politely will react in such a violet and aggressive manner. In person, that's a terrifying thought. I never wish to have to draw my knife on another person for refusing my rejection again, but I carry it because I had to once, so I may have to once more.
Also, if you follow the link to his profile, you'll notice that he's not some punk kid - he's a 42 year old man who should know better. But I wouldn't be able to tell that from his behaviour or his atrocious spelling and grammar.
I understand that it feels bad to know that women are automatically defensive around you men when you have done nothing to merit that defensiveness. But please understand that it's the fault of assholes like this that are responsible. He did nothing to merit my defenses either, at first. If you were bombarded daily, online and in person, by people giving you unwanted attention, and by refusing rejections, and when those people are always bigger and stronger than you, you would understand just how frightening the world can be.
It is safer for me to assume that you will harm me and be wrong, than it is for me to assume that you are just as nice as you seem at first and then be wrong about that.
THIS is the reason why women stay away from certain places, like gaming communities and atheist communities, and it will take the assistance of the genuinely nice guys to stand up to these fucktards - not to "protect the wimmenfolk", but to exact a social penalty on such bad behaviour and simultaneously distinguishing between the "good guys" and the "bad guys", so that we can more easily tell who really deserves our defenses and who doesn't.
This, by the way, violates the TOS under the Conduct Clause. Please make liberal use of the Report button when someone approaches you and harasses you in this manner. Maybe we can kick out most of the assholes and make places like OKC safer for women - that way the nice guys can actually find us.
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no subject
Date: 7/30/11 10:29 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 7/30/11 11:33 pm (UTC)From:So, I'll say that I wouldn't tell anyone NOT to tell him about this, but I wouldn't exactly recommend it either, unless you happen to like sparring with the maturity-deficient online ;-)
no subject
Date: 7/31/11 04:18 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 8/1/11 09:56 pm (UTC)From:The other half is entitlement.
So I thank you for being one of the good guys.
no subject
Date: 7/31/11 03:32 pm (UTC)From:No idea how to prevent it but I will challenge it if I see it.
no subject
Date: 8/1/11 09:54 pm (UTC)From:Your challenge of this behaviour, and the challenge of other individuals who recognize this kind of abuse for what it is, is exactly how we will prevent it in the future. So thank you.
no subject
Date: 8/1/11 07:45 pm (UTC)From:I am fortunate to be pretty sheltered from these types of posts. Really sorry to hear that you still have to put up with them. Society has had ways of dealing with this type of inappropriate behavior, and I hope that online communities can find a way to break the distance and anynomity so that there are consequences.
no subject
Date: 8/1/11 09:45 pm (UTC)From:It seems as though every time a woman tries to say "look guys, don't act like jerks", she gets bombarded with responses from men who try to defend their position, with things like "well she was a bitch" or "it's reverse sexism" or "bad things happen to guys too".
So I continue to post these kinds of things so that maybe some of *those* guys can see that, regardless of whether "bad things happen to guys too" or "worse things happen in other countries", this shit ain't cool.
I really think that if *those guys* had to deal with this kind of behaviour for their entire lives, that there would be much less excusing of it. I also post it so that the genuinely nice guys, the ones who see that this is unacceptable behaviour, can see *when* it happens, so that they can help to provide those consequences you speak of, by condemning this sort of behaviour.
When I complained to a coworker that his insistence on walking on the street-side of the sidewalk infantalized women, his defense was that he knew it was the right thing to do because when he did that, other men walking down the street would see him and nod approvingly at him. He outright said that the opinion of some male stranger was more important than the individual woman's preferences at his side.
This is not an isolated story.
Clearly, approval from other males is a strong factor in what becomes socially-acceptable behaviour. In fact, we know that, not only is it true in our closest relatives, but that changing what is socially acceptable changes the behaviour for the entire society.
So I appreciate your response. It gives me hope every time I see anyone, male or female, but especially male, who can see my experiences and react with horror or incredulity that someone could actually behave this way.