The Journal Of The InnKeeper

https://jezebel.com/rewriting-the-fairy-tale-adoption-narrative-1831433433

Adoption is not the "abortion alternative".  It's an industry (yes, I use that term deliberately) fraught with corruption, racism, and capitalism.

I had a pretty good adoptive experience.  But growing up, everyone else I heard about did not.  My own sister spent her entire life feeling abandoned, grieving for her bio-parents, and turning to drugs and sex-too-young to fill the void.  My uncle met my aunt when she was pregnant.  She gave up that child and later was found by the child.  The adult-child's story was pretty bad - neglectful adoptive parents, drug use, abuse ... They've tried to maintain a friendly relationship over the years but it's always been rocky.

I say that I was better off for my bio-mom not parenting me.   It's one of my main arguments in favor of allowing people to opt-out of parenting.  But the adoption system is not conducive to stories like mine.  Far too many people are not "better off" for the parents they ended up with.  Or, possibly they still are, but they still didn't get a good deal out of the arrangement.

Adoption is its own reproductive rights fight.  The system is terribly flawed and desperately needs an overhaul.  It is not a safe "third option" to avoid the issue of abortion.

I am glad I had an abortion.  I am more relieved by it every passing year.  It was absolutely the right choice for me.  Adoption was not.  I didn't want to avoid parenting, I needed to avoid *pregnancy*.

And the bullshit "gotcha" thought-questions about "what if we had transporters that could take the fetus out of your body and put it into someone else's, would you support that over abortion?" DO NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM.   Or, rather, they might possibly remove one objection, but they introduce a whole bunch of other problems.

Look, I had signed up to be an egg donor at one point.  So I *also* get it from the standpoint of "my genetic offspring will be out there, somewhere, being raised by someone else".  Clearly, I'm OK with that possibility.  But the irony of people, particularly white men, who insist that they want to have "a child of their own", posing this gotcha question and suggesting that women give up "their own" child for someone else to raise, is thick.

Adoption is not an "abortion alternative".  Adoption is its own issue and the adoption system is fucked up.   If you really want to reduce abortions, support preventative care and post-natal care.

Oh, but that would be "socialism"!

Yeah, well, you care so much about all those little "babies", then fucking pay for their parents to care for them or to better avoid having them in the first place.