Why Aren't There More Women In Atheism?

[joreth]

Question:
Why aren't there more women involved in atheism & skepticism, and in particular, why don't they come to the conferences?

Answer:
Well, besides daycare and expense issues, many of us don't come because we feel we are often dismissed, judged for our looks first and brains second (if at all), ignored, talked over, condescended to, hit on, and there is an underlying attitude of sexism and misogyny, not to mention being outnumbered by so many men, even if they are being nice.  Sometimes, I even feel afraid for my own safety because my concerns are not taken seriously and my wishes to not be hit on are ignored.

Responses:

• "Smart women are hot."
• "Oh lighten up, you should be flattered that men want to hit on you!"
• "Consider yourself lucky that men hit on you! I wouldn't be upset if more women hit on me!"
• "Please, you're not pretty enough for anyone to hit on you or rape you, so relax."
• "You think you have problems? There are women in other countries who are being beaten and mutilated! You have no room to complain because of how good you have it here!"
• "Let's get some perspective on this. Men have problems too, y'know. We have to deal with you being afraid of us, and every so often, a man gets raped too."
• "The problem with women is that you're just too emotional. I understand that this is an emotional topic, but you're not discussing this in a rational manner. There's no evidence that any of this happens or that it's the reason why so many women stay away; you're just a single data point."
• "You used some words that I mistakenly attribute to man-hating feminazis because someone else told me that use of these words is anti-men. So I'm not even going to listen to your actual point because I don't like the words you used. Instead, I'm going to throw my own loaded terminology at you like 'feminist propaganda' and 'agenda' and 'reverse sexism' and then unironically complain about not getting your point across because I have a problem with the words you use."
• "You fucking bitch, I hope you get raped."
• "You're just an attention-whore."
• "*cough*dramaqueen*cough*"
• "Does getting all this attention from men get you wet? Because you seem like the kind of woman that does."
• "I'm totally going to cop a feel when I see you at the next convention.  What? It was just a joke!"
• "I'm going to drug you and rape you."

Several of these comments are direct quotes.  In fact, the most offensive ones are the direct quotes. So please do not tell me that I'm building straw men or overreacting. I have a right to be both afraid and angry at the way women are treated in this culture even though men can have bad things happen to them too and even though women in other countries have it worse.

Comments

[joreth]

cont...


Other conventions, such as the rest of D*C, and the various sci-fi conventions I attend, have this sort of undercurrent of sexuality almost built into it. At sci-fi cons, women have the opportunity to dress sexy and indulge in choosing to sexualize themselves, which can be an empowering act when done willfully and deliberately. There's also the whole joke about con-sex and an "understanding" of going to cons with the intention to find sex partners just for the duration of the con. So it would be difficult for me to separate out the intentional sexualization that women are participating in, from the nonconsensual sexualizaiton that is being talked about in posts like mine.

The conventions I attend as an employee in my work as an entertainment tech have a mix of sexism and sexualized behaviour, depending on the specific convention, and the fact that I am there as an employee and not an attendee makes it hard to really tell what's going on. Some cons, by their very nature, are sexist, like the various religious conventions or the tent revivals. Promise Keepers is particularly sexist, but that's their whole schtic. Other, more neutral conventions, like insurance or tech conventions, have less obvious sexism built in, but there is a lot of sexualized activity. For instance, it's a fairly popular pastime for people to hookup with someone at a convention. I've always been a little shocked to see people at a conference with their coworkers and supervisors get falling-down drunk and make out under the spotlight towers. But people treat conferences like a vacation - it's an excuse to let loose and get a little out of control. The fact that their employers are also there with them doesn't matter because their employers are doing the exact same thing. Not being a member of that industry and only watching from the outside, it's hard for me to tell if it's sexist or if the women or uncomfortable, or if the women are getting just as much out of the permissible atmosphere as the men.