Why Aren't There More Women In Atheism?

[joreth]

Question:
Why aren't there more women involved in atheism & skepticism, and in particular, why don't they come to the conferences?

Answer:
Well, besides daycare and expense issues, many of us don't come because we feel we are often dismissed, judged for our looks first and brains second (if at all), ignored, talked over, condescended to, hit on, and there is an underlying attitude of sexism and misogyny, not to mention being outnumbered by so many men, even if they are being nice.  Sometimes, I even feel afraid for my own safety because my concerns are not taken seriously and my wishes to not be hit on are ignored.

Responses:

• "Smart women are hot."
• "Oh lighten up, you should be flattered that men want to hit on you!"
• "Consider yourself lucky that men hit on you! I wouldn't be upset if more women hit on me!"
• "Please, you're not pretty enough for anyone to hit on you or rape you, so relax."
• "You think you have problems? There are women in other countries who are being beaten and mutilated! You have no room to complain because of how good you have it here!"
• "Let's get some perspective on this. Men have problems too, y'know. We have to deal with you being afraid of us, and every so often, a man gets raped too."
• "The problem with women is that you're just too emotional. I understand that this is an emotional topic, but you're not discussing this in a rational manner. There's no evidence that any of this happens or that it's the reason why so many women stay away; you're just a single data point."
• "You used some words that I mistakenly attribute to man-hating feminazis because someone else told me that use of these words is anti-men. So I'm not even going to listen to your actual point because I don't like the words you used. Instead, I'm going to throw my own loaded terminology at you like 'feminist propaganda' and 'agenda' and 'reverse sexism' and then unironically complain about not getting your point across because I have a problem with the words you use."
• "You fucking bitch, I hope you get raped."
• "You're just an attention-whore."
• "*cough*dramaqueen*cough*"
• "Does getting all this attention from men get you wet? Because you seem like the kind of woman that does."
• "I'm totally going to cop a feel when I see you at the next convention.  What? It was just a joke!"
• "I'm going to drug you and rape you."

Several of these comments are direct quotes.  In fact, the most offensive ones are the direct quotes. So please do not tell me that I'm building straw men or overreacting. I have a right to be both afraid and angry at the way women are treated in this culture even though men can have bad things happen to them too and even though women in other countries have it worse.