*grumble grumble*

[joreth]

I am so sick of this stupid argument. If I ever change my mind (and at 32 with no doubts in sight), I will adopt. I've had people tell me that adoption isn't the same thing. I love the look on their face when I respond that *I* am adopted, and would they like to tell my mother that she doesn't *really* love me like my *real* mother would after she's sacrificed and worried and endured hardship for over 30 years, all for the love of the baby she believes that god gave her when her body failed her?

I also say, so what if I change my mind later? Isn’t living with the consequences of our actions all part of being a grown-up? If I change my mind about *having* kids, I can’t reverse the decision, it's not like I can return them to the store.  But if I change my mind about *not* having kids, there are plenty of alternatives available. Including the likelihood that, as I get older, my dating pool will have an increased number of males who already have children.

 

I knew when I was 6, I knew when I was 12, I knew when I was 18, I knew when I was 24, I knew when I had an abortion, I knew when I was 30, and at nearly 33, I STILL know that I DO NOT WANT KIDS and have absolutely no doubts or regrets at not having them. It’s one of the few things about my goals, dreams and plans that has never changed.

How f*cking condescending is it to say “when you meet the right man, you’ll change your mind”. Bull! The “right man” *also* does not want kids.

Thanks datan0de, for the Twitter link!

Comments

[zensidhe.livejournal.com]

I DID change my mind. I wanted kids for most of my teen years. I thought my life couldn't be complete without them.

And then as my life with with my wife began, and we started sharing our dreams and adventures, I realized that I really really didn't want them. The didn't mesh with the any part of my life. I don't regret my decision at all. I re-evaluated and realized that I never really wanted kids, I just felt like I should (because my parents were such great parents and gave everything to their kids. I grew up thinking that was the only way).

When I got my vasectomy at 28 I had to lie to the doctor and tell him I had kids already because he was going to refuse to do it unless I had already 'bred'.

It is such an odd thing that people think they know better then others regarding this hugely personal issue...

[datan0de.livejournal.com]

Ditto your entire comment (well, 'cept that I haven't been snipped yet). That's exactly dead-on accurate.

BTW, somehow I either forgot or never knew that you had to lie to the doctor. Wow!