Becareful what you ask...

[joreth]

Going through the "security" line at Disney's Animal Kingdom, the security guy noticed my pocket knife clipped to my pocket (visible to avoid any possible charges of "concealed weapon") and said I couldn't bring it in the park. That part was fine, I put it back in the car and only had it with me because I forgot to leave it at home, but the knife just happens to sit very close to the keyring that I wear on my belt.

Which happens to have a set of handcuff keys on it.

Which the real cop standing nearby happened to notice.

So I leave to put the knife back in the car and someone calls after me "are you a cop?", which I didn't hear. sterlingsilver9 did and yelled back "no, she's not" as I continued walking.

I drop off the knife in the car and return to the line. The security guy goes through my camera bag a second time and we proceed, only to be stopped by the cop before I completely clear the gate:

Cop: Is that a handcuff key you're carrying?
Me: Yes.
Cop: Are you a cop?
Me: No.
Cop: Are you a cast member?
Me: No.
Cop: Are you with security?
Me: No.
Cop: Then why do you have a set of handcuff keys?
Me: (brief pause) Because I use handcuffs during sex and I keep the keys with me for safety reasons.
Cop: (blank expression & brief pause) Well, we don't want any trouble in the park.
Me: Ok.

His actual parting shot was a bit more mumbling and unfinished sentences, interspersed with sterlingsilver9's assurances that we fully supported the park's efforts for a safe environment, but that's a little hard for me to write out.

Basically, we came away from the encounter under the impression that the cop could think of only 2 reasons to have handcuff keys: 1) law enforcement and 2) escape from law enforcement.

Since I was not #1, I must therefore be #2 and he just couldn't wrap his brain around a third option, which was 3) None of the above. In his world, it appears as though there are two types of people, those who cause trouble and those who take care of trouble. His attitude towards me and his reaction implied that he believed I was there to cause trouble. That's why I finally went for the absolute bald truth for shock value, to try and make it sink into his head that there are other options.

The moral of the story is: Becareful of what questions you ask. Make sure you really want to know the answer.

Comments

[madmanatw.livejournal.com]

*snerk*
"Yes, officer, I don't plan to have sex inside the park. Bye!"

[joreth]

LOL, I totally didn't take it that way, but then again, I also kind of cut out the flustered side mumblings where he referenced my now-missing-knife and sterlingsilver9's attempts to assure him that we were not up to no-good.

My interpretation was that he couldn't come up with any reason for me to carry handcuff keys if I wasn't law enforcement that didn't involve trying to escape law enforcement and had no idea what to do with the sex comment and so then retreated back into his assumption that I was Up To No Good.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I like the last line. I assume he was just flustered and looking for something to say to wrap up the conversation. It doesn't really mean anything. But I like the way you can read it as saying, please don't handcuff people and have kinky sex in the park - as if you intended to.

[joreth]

Ah, I much prefer your interpretation of the last comment.

He was actually a little bit flustered and referenced the knife again (which I had already walked back to the car and put away and was searched a second time) and there were a couple of comments interspersed from sterlingsilver9 but that's kinda hard for me to write out.

Basically, what the cop was getting at was that there must not be a legitimate reason to have handcuff keys unless you are A) law enforcement or B) trying to get away from law enforcement. He just wasn't sure what to do with the sex comment, so he retreated back into assuming I was there to cause trouble.

It never occurred to me to take his position as something humorous like "don't have kinky sex in the park", but it makes me feel much more lighthearted about the whole situation to think he *could* have meant that!

[leora.livejournal.com]

Ah, yeah. Sounds like the sort of tone and implications it is much easier to pick up in person. It's hard to get nuance in text.

[joreth]

It is, and I'm not a good writer, in that sense. I did edit the original post a bit to add in that detail. It just happened a few hours ago, and if I were tacit, I could use this situation to write a long and inciteful post about people's attitudes and assumptions about sex and mischief ... but I'm not that talented, so I post just the exchange for everyone's amusement :-)

[joreth]

How about I spell that correctly?

Insightful

[knighthorse.livejournal.com]

Awesome story!

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

I had to go to the Polk County courthouse a while back & when I pulled my keys out to go thru the metal detector the SG noticed my handcuff key. He asked if I was a cop or a licensed PI/bail bandsman. I said no. He asked why I had the key & I said "for kinky sexual purposes." His jaw gaped for a second and then he said "So you're not a cop or PI or bondsman?" I said no again and he told me they'd have to hold my keys. They really have trouble with it lol.

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

*boggle* It's a KEY.

[joreth]

What they're afraid of is someone making enough trouble to be put *into* handcuffs, then having the key to get *out of* the handcuffs.

They can't seem to wrap their little brains around a non-troublemaking use for handcuff keys.

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

Yep. I might've snuck out of the traffic hearing to help a dangerous criminal escape.

[joreth]

Since they're trying to avoid a potential future-prisoner from being able to escape, you'd think the search and removal of dangerous objects (like handcuff keys) would take care of that threat if you really *were* a future-prisoner, and pre-emptively removing the key wouldn't be necessary.

It's not like a weapon that *causes* the trouble, it's something to help a troublemaker escape bondage, but would presumably be removed upon capture along with any other personal items.

[darkgods.livejournal.com]

It's Polk County, hun. Of COURSE they have a problem with it. I'm FROM Polk County, and I can tell you that all sex in PC is missionary only, with your high school sweetheart (you know, the first and only person you will every have sex with). There is no sex outside of marriage and blessed by Gawd. There are no homosexuals, no drug use, no teen pregnancies, no crime...are you getting the picture yet?
:P

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

You are so awesome.



So had you left anyone cuffed while you were in the park...?

[joreth]

Unfortunately, I did not have my handcuffs with me, just the keys. I don't ever want to have to wonder, after the fact, just where the keys are, so they just live on my keychain.

But I wished I had ;-)

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

That makes sense. I have various specific boxes and such for that kind of thing, and I tend to wear the keys on a necklace while they are in use (especially locking things in longer term use). I've never played with handcuffs, though. Cuff keys aren't specific...all keys open all cuffs?

I had this image of you leaving a sub cuffed while you went to the park. ;) That would be a bit on the extremely mean side for me, but I can see its appeal...

[joreth]

All real handcuffs use the same key and all handcuff-specific keys open all real handcuffs. Play cuffs (plastic, or "magic" cuffs, etc.) may have another system, but police-issue and real metal BDSM cuffs all use the same key.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

Aaah, that makes sense. I've only played with leather cuffs and rope, but the metal ones intrigue me, particularly since I have a bit of a fetish for metal things. If I was going to obtain handcuffs, I'd definitely want the real thing.

[joreth]

Metal handcuffs are rather more dangerous than leather cuffs, because they can do nerve damage to the nerves in the wrists. Metal cuffs are best if not used in a strong struggling scene, but rather one in which the "victim" is more passive.

Also, should you start shopping for metal cuffs, look for the kind with a "double locking" mechanism. This means that, not only do they lock to prevent the prisoner from opening them, but they also lock a second time to prevent the cuffs tightening any further, thereby reducing nerve damage via accidental tightening.

[joreth]

I'm quite fond of the metal cuffs, personally, I have a bit of a metal fetish too. I now have 2 pair - silver and black metal.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

/nods/ that's good information to have. I recall reading about the nerve damage factor at some point. I'd definitely want a pair that locked so they wouldn't get tighter. In...silver, I think. Purrrrrrrrrr.

[terry31415.livejournal.com]

Hah! That is a funny story. Thanks for sharing it!

[darkgods.livejournal.com]

I keep a set of handcuff keys on my key ring for the same reason!

Troublemakers of the world, UNITE!