Apr. 28th, 2009

joreth: (Nude Drawing)
Going through the "security" line at Disney's Animal Kingdom, the security guy noticed my pocket knife clipped to my pocket (visible to avoid any possible charges of "concealed weapon") and said I couldn't bring it in the park. That part was fine, I put it back in the car and only had it with me because I forgot to leave it at home, but the knife just happens to sit very close to the keyring that I wear on my belt.

Which happens to have a set of handcuff keys on it.

Which the real cop standing nearby happened to notice.

So I leave to put the knife back in the car and someone calls after me "are you a cop?", which I didn't hear. [livejournal.com profile] sterlingsilver9 did and yelled back "no, she's not" as I continued walking.

I drop off the knife in the car and return to the line. The security guy goes through my camera bag a second time and we proceed, only to be stopped by the cop before I completely clear the gate:

Cop: Is that a handcuff key you're carrying?
Me: Yes.
Cop: Are you a cop?
Me: No.
Cop: Are you a cast member?
Me: No.
Cop: Are you with security?
Me: No.
Cop: Then why do you have a set of handcuff keys?
Me: (brief pause) Because I use handcuffs during sex and I keep the keys with me for safety reasons.
Cop: (blank expression & brief pause) Well, we don't want any trouble in the park.
Me: Ok.

His actual parting shot was a bit more mumbling and unfinished sentences, interspersed with [livejournal.com profile] sterlingsilver9's assurances that we fully supported the park's efforts for a safe environment, but that's a little hard for me to write out.

Basically, we came away from the encounter under the impression that the cop could think of only 2 reasons to have handcuff keys: 1) law enforcement and 2) escape from law enforcement.

Since I was not #1, I must therefore be #2 and he just couldn't wrap his brain around a third option, which was 3) None of the above. In his world, it appears as though there are two types of people, those who cause trouble and those who take care of trouble. His attitude towards me and his reaction implied that he believed I was there to cause trouble. That's why I finally went for the absolute bald truth for shock value, to try and make it sink into his head that there are other options.

The moral of the story is: Becareful of what questions you ask. Make sure you really want to know the answer.

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