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I'm getting stalked by a psycho muslim on Shelfari who thinks we should all be stoned to death!
WTF?
It's bad enough I get assholes on actual dating sites, but this is ridiculous.
So, most of you know that I started an online polyamorous book club. There is one very simple rule. We talk about polyamory in literature. Period. There is no relationship advice, no trying to convert people to polyamory, no debating the benefits vs. the drawbacks, no bashing of any other relationship style, no hitting on the other members. There are lots of other sites to do that in. I did allow an introductory thread where people could introduce themselves and talk about poly in their lives, but for the most part, I want to keep this strictly about poly in literature. Between the 500 LJ communities, the dozen MySpace communities and the hundreds of Yahoo Groups, there is no need for yet another "let's talk about poly and flirt with each other" group. You don't even have to *be* poly to join the group, just as you don't have to be female to take a Women's Studies course in school.
We just talk about books.
So this fuckwad makes a post that includes nothing but how Allah proclaimed that all adulterators and fornicators be stoned to death for their crimes. After some guidance from tech support, I finally figured out how to delete the thread. But the asshole is not a member of the group, so I can't kick him out, I can't find any way to block any particular person from posting, and he's started sending me emails through the "email the admin" box and leaving "notes" (like OKC comments) on my profile.
Unfortunately, the tech support helped me delete the original thread before I thought to copy it to rant about it, since I didn't think of ranting until he both emailed me and posted a note in my personal profile (which I also deleted before I thought to rant).
But I'm going to broadcast his profile (which, for some reason, won't let me post notes to him to tell him to fuck off and won't let me email him privately) and I'm going to show everyone the email I got, since I use a 2-part deleting system for email (in the trash bin, *then* permanent batch delete when it gets full) so I still have it.
When he made his first post about stoning us, I replied that the group was for discussing poly in literature so fuck off. Since I couldn't figure out how to delete an entire thread, just individual posts, I then bumped up all the current discussion threads by making a post in each saying "Bump to get this above the asshole with the adultery thread" and I made a new discussion that said "Don't read the Adultery/Fornication thread - it's all about how this asshole wants to stone us to death". I now know how to delete threads, hence the reason I don't have the original thread to post here.
He emailed me shortly thereafter with this email. Ready?
A group admin message has been sent to you by Ziad from group Polyamory.
When dealing with others, a Muslim invariably confronts situations where he is verbally abused or derided. If he is living among non-Muslims, he might sometimes be confronted by a situation where a non-Muslim abuses his honor, that of other Muslims, or even the honor of Islam, with foul and unsavory language. The question arises as to whether it is suitable for a Muslim to reply back in a similar fashion to defend Islam and the Muslims. Would he be sinning if he were to use similar foul language against the non-Muslims?
It is not fitting for those who should be calling others to Allah to use unsightly and foul language. This is impropriate behavior for a Muslim to stoop to, regardless of who starts it, even if the one who initiates it is a non-Muslim. Our good example in this and in all matters is our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was the best of those who ever called people to Allah. We must emulate his conduct in the way we deal with non-Muslims. He had been tormented and abused by the unbelievers. They scorned him and made him an object of ridicule. Ultimately, they expelled him from his homeland. Nonetheless, he remained in his conduct a blessing for all living things.
A Jewish man once greeted the Prophet (peace be upon him) by saying: “Death be upon you.” He used the Arabic word ‘sâm’, meaning ‘death’, in a parody of the Islamic greeting for peace which is the word ‘salâm’.
Though the Prophet (peace be upon him) knew exactly what the man had said, he paid it no heed and gently replied: “And upon you.” He did so without repeating the misused word “sâm” and behaved as if he had not noticed it.
However, `Âishah, who had also heard what the man really said, immediately retorted: “And death be upon you and a curse as well!”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Take it easy, `Â’ishah. Allah loves kindness in everything.” In another narration of the story, it is related that he also said: “Beware of coarseness and indecency.”
`Âishah complained to the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying: “Didn’t you hear what they said?”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “Did you not hear my reply? I responded to their offensive supplication. My supplication will be answered by Allah while their supplication against me will not be answered.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
Some of the Companions once asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) to pray to Allah to invoke His curse upon the pagans. He replied: “I was not sent to curse people but as a blessing. [Sahîh Muslim]
Also, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “It is not fitting for a sincere lover of truth to invoke curses.” [Sahîh Muslim]
And he said: “A believer should not invoke curses.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî with authentic line of transmission]
We should call people to Allah by explaining to them the truth about Islam. We must teach them our beliefs, our code of Law and our exemplary moral standards. If they resort to curses and vindictives, we should instead take recourse to sound arguments and evidence. Only those who are weak and defeated, who have no knowledge, choose to respond by insult. We must refrain from such conduct.
However, this does not mean that we are never to defend ourselves against abuse or seek judicial action to remedy it, particularly if the abuse is directed at Islamic beliefs and teachings.
Allah says: “And whoever defends himself after his being oppressed, for such people, there is no way of blame against them. The way of blame is only against those who oppress mankind, and wrongfully rebel in the earth. For such there is a painful doom.” [Sûrah al-Shûrâ: 41-42]
This means that we may seek justice and redress in the face of oppression. We are entitled to respond to abuse, but without allowing ourselves to fall into oppression or transgression.
May Allah guide us all to the right way in our words and deeds, and in our efforts to call others to Islam. May he bless us to conduct ourselves in the noble manner of our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
I really, really don't understand the idea that a person can approach me, be insulting, and when I'm insulting back, they get to act victimized. Yes, I cuss at people and I call them names and I am rude. But only to people who are rude to me first. They approach me. They visit my profiles, they take the time to email me. But suddenly I'm the bad guy because I told someone to fuck off when he was bothering me? And these are only rhetorical questions because I already know all the rationalizations for why people do these things. I don't go into monogamy sites and start calling everyone there naive, insecure, possessive, mysoginists who will go to hell for following man-made laws instead of "god's" laws (the Bible rewarded several instances of polygamy, or at the very least, ignored it) or natural laws. Those people can think I'm a slut all they want - but they can't come to my profile to tell me so.
And this fucking site won't let me block him! Fortunately, the tech support who helped me with deleting the thread claims to have sent him a warning email about inappropriate posts in groups and to let her know if I have any more trouble with him. So I told her about the note and the email and I reiterated that I wanted some method of blocking him from being able to post or contact me at all.
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no subject
Date: 3/3/08 11:55 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 3/5/08 04:13 pm (UTC)From:Dumb ass kicked himself in the foot with his stupidity.
Whatever. It is no different that a "radical" from any other religion spouting a bunch of crap they know nothing about. Especially when those same religions claim love and acceptance.
Anyone can cut and paste from a website into a rebuttal email. Le freaking sigh.
no subject
Date: 3/5/08 05:08 pm (UTC)From:They usually do :-/ Still damn annoying to be approached by them, though. If I truly were a bitch, not just Le Online Bitch as a reaction to assholes, I might start approaching all of them with, preaching the Gosple of Atheism a la:
no subject
Date: 3/5/08 05:36 pm (UTC)From:Found you via <lj user=Tacit>...
Date: 3/5/08 09:10 pm (UTC)From:Re: Found you via <lj user="tacit">...
Date: 3/5/08 09:50 pm (UTC)From: