Stop Asking Me About Having Children

[joreth]

www.quora.com/What-is-a-tactful-way-to-respond-to-my-step-mother-in-law-when-she-pesters-my-husband-and-I-about-having-kids-when-we-told-her-we-do-not-want-any-children/answer/Joreth-Innkeeper

Q. What is a tactful way to respond to my step mother-in-law when she pesters my husband and I about having kids when we told her we do not want any children?

A. The original question asked for "tactful" responses. Trust me, for me, this IS "tactful".

• "I'm concerned about why you’re asking me this. Are you getting everything you need at home?"


• "I actually like being happy."


• "Sweetie, I couldn't keep my goldfish alive as a kid, what makes you think I should be in charge of a child?"


• "I'd rather spend my money on beer" - you could go with a totally frivolous item meant to show you as totally unsuitable like "beer" or "drugs", or you could go for high-ticket items that show how expensive children are like "a new house" or "a dream vacation"


• "The world is overpopulated already."


• "I just found out I'm infertile, but thanks for bringing up such a painful and private subject."


• "The cat would get jealous."


• "I love my husband as a person, but frankly, I'm not passing on my genes unless they merge with Jason Momoa [insert celebrity hottie here]."


• "I need to be the only one in the house who has temper tantrums and cries for no reason."


• "After the last 'incident', the courts warned me to stay away from children if I value my freedom."


• "I'm an atheist / feminist, I don't birth children, I eat them." (full disclosure - I’m both, this is a joke) (this also works for "pagan")


• "I don't know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings." ~ Marissa Tomei


• "Childhood was heartbreaking enough." ~ Chelsea Handler


• "We thought we might try renting one first, to make sure we don't kill it before having our own."

When are you going to have children? -

• "I'll let you know when I change my mind. In the meantime, I'm sure there are more important things in your own life that you could be thinking about."


• "When you learn to mind your own business."


• "Why? Are you finally sick of talking about yours?"


• "What answer could I give you so that you'll stop asking?"


• "I'm sorry, what did you say? Oh, I thought you said something else that's completely none of your business."


• "Only God knows, and He hasn't told me yet."


• "As soon as I figure out how. Got any suggestions?"


• "I already have one - your step-son."


• "Tomorrow."


• "Can I get back to you? How soon do you need to know?"


• "Did you know that 1 in 6 couples, who desperately want to have a child, struggle with infertility? I'm not going to tell you if I'm one of those people, but maybe you'll think about how hurtful your question might be to someone who is."


• "You know, that's a really personal question you shouldn't ask everyone. Some people have a hard time getting pregnant, and questions like that could really make them feel bad about their situation."


• "We're waiting to see how yours turn out before we decide."


• "As soon as their value goes up to an acceptable level on the black market."


• "Oh, soon I hope! I found this great recipe for roasted babies that I've been dying to try out!"


• "I'm waiting to meet Mr. Right." (especially funny since you're talking to your husband's parents)


• "When I can be sure of doing a better job of teaching manners than your parents."