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www.quora.com/How-would-you-feel-if-the-girl-you-are-dating-is-asking-for-a-STD-free-medical-certificate-before-getting-intimate/answer/Joreth-Innkeeper
The phrasing of these kinds of questions always sounds like a "gotcha" question, where people are actually quite offended at the thing they're asking about and they're looking for validation that they are right to be offended. I hope I piss these people off with my answers.
Q. How would you feel if the girl you are dating is asking for a STD-free medical certificate before getting intimate?
A. Well, if she used the phrase “STD-free medical certificate”, I’d probably have a conversation with her about slut shaming and sexual stigmas. 1) They don’t issue “certificates”, they merely tell you if your tests are either “negative” or “non-reactive” (depending on the test) or not, and most of the time you can request a print-out of the test results; and 2) you are not “free” or “clean” or “clear” of STDs, you merely did not react positively to one particular type of test for however many STDs you got tested for.
(as an aside, telling your doctor you want to be tested for “everything” does not actually get you tested for “everything” - it may get you tested for everything *that this doctor feels is appropriate to test for*, which is not the same thing at all. They almost always leave out HSV, for example. So always specify which STDs you want to be tested for and which *tests* for each STD you want them to use, as many of the STDs have several different tests that all show slightly different things and have their own pros and cons).
That being said, however, should someone I was interested in ask to exchange test results before engaging in higher-risk activity, I’d say “well, of course, that’s my general policy as well. I try to get tested once a year, depending on my finances and whether or not my relationship status or risk profile has changed in the last 12 months, and right before a new partner just so that I have the latest possible results to share. These are the things I get tested for and these are the specific versions of the tests for these things that I use. Should I engage in any higher-risk activities without exchanging test results first (which doesn’t happen often, but does occasionally depending on circumstances), then I will get tested again 3 months later. What does your testing procedure look like? And what is your gmail account where I can share a Google doc of my entire sexual history and scans of my latest tests?”
The phrasing of these kinds of questions always sounds like a "gotcha" question, where people are actually quite offended at the thing they're asking about and they're looking for validation that they are right to be offended. I hope I piss these people off with my answers.
Q. How would you feel if the girl you are dating is asking for a STD-free medical certificate before getting intimate?
A. Well, if she used the phrase “STD-free medical certificate”, I’d probably have a conversation with her about slut shaming and sexual stigmas. 1) They don’t issue “certificates”, they merely tell you if your tests are either “negative” or “non-reactive” (depending on the test) or not, and most of the time you can request a print-out of the test results; and 2) you are not “free” or “clean” or “clear” of STDs, you merely did not react positively to one particular type of test for however many STDs you got tested for.
(as an aside, telling your doctor you want to be tested for “everything” does not actually get you tested for “everything” - it may get you tested for everything *that this doctor feels is appropriate to test for*, which is not the same thing at all. They almost always leave out HSV, for example. So always specify which STDs you want to be tested for and which *tests* for each STD you want them to use, as many of the STDs have several different tests that all show slightly different things and have their own pros and cons).
That being said, however, should someone I was interested in ask to exchange test results before engaging in higher-risk activity, I’d say “well, of course, that’s my general policy as well. I try to get tested once a year, depending on my finances and whether or not my relationship status or risk profile has changed in the last 12 months, and right before a new partner just so that I have the latest possible results to share. These are the things I get tested for and these are the specific versions of the tests for these things that I use. Should I engage in any higher-risk activities without exchanging test results first (which doesn’t happen often, but does occasionally depending on circumstances), then I will get tested again 3 months later. What does your testing procedure look like? And what is your gmail account where I can share a Google doc of my entire sexual history and scans of my latest tests?”
