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Dudes - show even the barest minimal effort in who she is as a person. Trust me, it will totally make you stand out from the crowd.
Right now, I am open to both LTRs and casual relationships. I can totally have casual sex without an emotional connection to people. I am capable of having a purely physical chemistry with someone without it being related to how I feel about them as a person. And I'm non-monogamous. If I express interest in a guy, it's *almost* a sure thing under these conditions.
So I'm on Tinder, which is all about the quick, physical attraction version of matching. I see a guy that I find attractive. I'd consider hooking up with him. Only problem is that I don't want to get blindsided, yet again, by someone who expresses interest and then suddenly pulls back because of a problem with who I am as a person.
If we don't match, then we don't match, and that's fine. Just don't lead me on thinking that we do and I start to get attached and then pull the rug out from under me because of an integral part of who I am.
So, I "like" a bunch of profiles, and I make the first contact email, because I have no problem being a woman who does that. But I squeezed a whole bunch of controversial labels into my character-limited profile to get all that shit out up front. Then, I send everyone some version of the following message:
THIS IS NOT HARD. I'm totally setting you up for a win here, or at least an easy out. Put forth ANY effort. ANY. AT. ALL.
**Edit**
To be fair, I was finally able to drag out of about 2 or 3 people a response to my initial questions. So far about half of the people I had to say "but that didn't answer my questions" eventually answered them, sort of.
Most of them I ended up unmatching with because, as I said to one of them, it shouldn't be this much work to get a guy to pay attention to who I am when that guy *says* he's interested in me.
There are a couple-three guys who I didn't send that particular question to because they actually had info in their own profile that I was able to respond to. So I opened my conversation with something specific to their bio - "hey, it says you like dancing, what kind of dancing do you do?", "you're a camera operator? Me too!", "you just came back from Korea? What was that like?"
Again, Tinder bios are one paragraph long. It's really not that difficult to read and comment on something in the profile (assuming there is anything specific in the profile to comment on, besides "I like food, music, and hanging out"). The bio even pops up over the second picture when you're swiping through their pictures. Just pick one thing in the bio and comment on it.
And when I message you first and *ask you to pick one thing in my bio and comment on it*, then fucking do that.
Right now, I am open to both LTRs and casual relationships. I can totally have casual sex without an emotional connection to people. I am capable of having a purely physical chemistry with someone without it being related to how I feel about them as a person. And I'm non-monogamous. If I express interest in a guy, it's *almost* a sure thing under these conditions.
So I'm on Tinder, which is all about the quick, physical attraction version of matching. I see a guy that I find attractive. I'd consider hooking up with him. Only problem is that I don't want to get blindsided, yet again, by someone who expresses interest and then suddenly pulls back because of a problem with who I am as a person.
If we don't match, then we don't match, and that's fine. Just don't lead me on thinking that we do and I start to get attached and then pull the rug out from under me because of an integral part of who I am.
So, I "like" a bunch of profiles, and I make the first contact email, because I have no problem being a woman who does that. But I squeezed a whole bunch of controversial labels into my character-limited profile to get all that shit out up front. Then, I send everyone some version of the following message:
Me: Since we matched, you had to have found me interesting in some way. Did you read my bio? What parts interested you? Does any of it suggest we might not be compatible?So far, without exception, everyone has responded to my message with a variation on this:
Him: think we would get along just fine, and it doesn’t hurt that you are crazy beautiful😉Dudes. My profile is one fucking paragraph long. All you'd have to say is "hey, you're an atheist? Me too!" or "actually, I don't know what solo poly means" or "honestly, I swiped because of your pictures, but now that I see your profile, I don't think I'd get along with a feminist, but thanks for messaging me!"
Me: OK, but that didn't answer my questions
THIS IS NOT HARD. I'm totally setting you up for a win here, or at least an easy out. Put forth ANY effort. ANY. AT. ALL.
**Edit**
To be fair, I was finally able to drag out of about 2 or 3 people a response to my initial questions. So far about half of the people I had to say "but that didn't answer my questions" eventually answered them, sort of.
Most of them I ended up unmatching with because, as I said to one of them, it shouldn't be this much work to get a guy to pay attention to who I am when that guy *says* he's interested in me.
There are a couple-three guys who I didn't send that particular question to because they actually had info in their own profile that I was able to respond to. So I opened my conversation with something specific to their bio - "hey, it says you like dancing, what kind of dancing do you do?", "you're a camera operator? Me too!", "you just came back from Korea? What was that like?"
Again, Tinder bios are one paragraph long. It's really not that difficult to read and comment on something in the profile (assuming there is anything specific in the profile to comment on, besides "I like food, music, and hanging out"). The bio even pops up over the second picture when you're swiping through their pictures. Just pick one thing in the bio and comment on it.
And when I message you first and *ask you to pick one thing in my bio and comment on it*, then fucking do that.
