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https://www.quora.com/For-straight-women-would-you-rather-have-a-man-be-too-nice-or-too-agressive-when-approaching-you-for-a-date/answer/Joreth-Innkeeper
Q. For straight women, would you rather have a man be too nice or too agressive when approaching you for a date?
A. There is no such thing as “too nice”. There is genuinely, sincerely nice, there is not nice, and there is passive-aggressively not nice masquerading as “too nice”.
Q. For straight women, would you rather have a man be too nice or too agressive when approaching you for a date?
A. There is no such thing as “too nice”. There is genuinely, sincerely nice, there is not nice, and there is passive-aggressively not nice masquerading as “too nice”.
- Someone who is genuinely, sincerely, kind and compassionate and caring is “nice”.
- Someone who is a doormat is not nice, they lack boundaries.
- Someone who relies on gender-based behaviour revolving around a misconception of “courtesy” from an era in which women were chattel but somehow using the same behaviour on women hundreds of years later isn’t demeaning or treating them as chattel, is not nice, it’s misogynistic virtue signaling.
- Someone who is “too aggressive” is actually violating boundaries and consent, not just the opposite of “too nice”.
I want someone who treats me like a human fucking being. I want someone who recognizes my humanity, who respects my agency, and who gets to know me as a person first so that they can treat me the way I want to be treated, not according to some rule book that says “all women want / like / should be treated…”.
That’s not “too nice”, that’s the absolute bare minimum, the bottom line, the lowest bar for “decent human being”. You can’t go overboard on recognizing one’s humanity and respecting one’s agency and treating one as an individual. You can’t be “too” of that.
Being a doormat, being passive-aggressively meek in order to curry favor, and being “aggressive” and ignoring boundaries are all just different ways of not doing enough of all that.
That’s not “too nice”, that’s the absolute bare minimum, the bottom line, the lowest bar for “decent human being”. You can’t go overboard on recognizing one’s humanity and respecting one’s agency and treating one as an individual. You can’t be “too” of that.
Being a doormat, being passive-aggressively meek in order to curry favor, and being “aggressive” and ignoring boundaries are all just different ways of not doing enough of all that.
