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I've made a lot of really bad relationship decisions in my life. And I've made some decisions that resulted in bad things but that genuinely couldn't be predicted would result in the bad thing, so it's not unreasonable that I made that decision at the time.
There aren't that many relationship decisions that, if I were given the key to real time travel, I would really go back in time and change that decision, because I have no way of knowing what the consequence would be, and sometimes I at least learned something or had some good memories in addition to the bad ones.
But I seem to be wracking up the regrets lately. Of the very few relationships that I would genuinely go back and time and erase, the majority of them were among my most recent relationships.
I would erase my time with my abusive ex-fiance back in college. I don't know if I would erase my time with my stalker, but I think I ought to have erased my time *after* my relationship with the stalker, where I maintained a friendship with him for like 10 or 12 years later. Those are way back in my past.
All the rest? Among my last handful. Not all of my last handful, but all the ones I would take back are *among* my last handful.
I clearly need to rethink how I get into relationships and why I make the decisions that I do. After my last abusive ex, my self-esteem took a pretty big hit because I felt that I couldn't trust my own judgement when it came to potential partners. The fact that I don't seem to be getting any better at it even with awareness of the problem isn't helping me at all.
There aren't that many relationship decisions that, if I were given the key to real time travel, I would really go back in time and change that decision, because I have no way of knowing what the consequence would be, and sometimes I at least learned something or had some good memories in addition to the bad ones.
But I seem to be wracking up the regrets lately. Of the very few relationships that I would genuinely go back and time and erase, the majority of them were among my most recent relationships.
I would erase my time with my abusive ex-fiance back in college. I don't know if I would erase my time with my stalker, but I think I ought to have erased my time *after* my relationship with the stalker, where I maintained a friendship with him for like 10 or 12 years later. Those are way back in my past.
All the rest? Among my last handful. Not all of my last handful, but all the ones I would take back are *among* my last handful.
I clearly need to rethink how I get into relationships and why I make the decisions that I do. After my last abusive ex, my self-esteem took a pretty big hit because I felt that I couldn't trust my own judgement when it came to potential partners. The fact that I don't seem to be getting any better at it even with awareness of the problem isn't helping me at all.
