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I've been saying this for several years now. As a former member of the Scorched Earth Club, we need to recognize nuance. We need to stop labeling everything that we don't like as "abuse" or whatever. We need to stop throwing people out for every single infraction.
You, as an individual, can make your own decisions about who to interact with and in what capacity.
But we, as communities, need to have space for mistakes, space for changing minds, space for learning and growing.
And we as individuals within those communities need to learn some coping mechanisms for dealing with people in our communities with whom we have problems that don't require mass shunning or forcing people to "choose" between us.
Because I guaran-fucking-tee that you're not perfect either, and you're also "problematic" to some people.
Losing community is devastating. It's cruel. And it usually doesn't work as a "punishment". It tends to only push people further into whatever mindset is responsible for the behaviour that got them shunned in the first place.
So make very sure that someone is truly a lost cause before pulling the nuclear option. They will not "learn their lesson" and become better people for the shunning, they will likely polarize against the community's values. Some people really need to be dumped. But others need to be pulled in and taught how to be better.
Again, as an individual, you, personally, are not obligated to be The One who teaches everyone how to be better. But we, as a community, ought to be obligated to working harder to learn nuance and to offer better options for redemption and correction than resorting to every infraction with the banhammer.
You, as an individual, can make your own decisions about who to interact with and in what capacity.
But we, as communities, need to have space for mistakes, space for changing minds, space for learning and growing.
And we as individuals within those communities need to learn some coping mechanisms for dealing with people in our communities with whom we have problems that don't require mass shunning or forcing people to "choose" between us.
Because I guaran-fucking-tee that you're not perfect either, and you're also "problematic" to some people.
Losing community is devastating. It's cruel. And it usually doesn't work as a "punishment". It tends to only push people further into whatever mindset is responsible for the behaviour that got them shunned in the first place.
So make very sure that someone is truly a lost cause before pulling the nuclear option. They will not "learn their lesson" and become better people for the shunning, they will likely polarize against the community's values. Some people really need to be dumped. But others need to be pulled in and taught how to be better.
Again, as an individual, you, personally, are not obligated to be The One who teaches everyone how to be better. But we, as a community, ought to be obligated to working harder to learn nuance and to offer better options for redemption and correction than resorting to every infraction with the banhammer.
