![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
By now everyone should know that I believe the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft should be required reading in middle school and that absolutely everyone must go out and get that book and read it if you haven't already (and I can help you get that book if you need help - it's that important to me that everyone reads it).
However, that book focuses on male-on-female cisgender hetero abuse. Which, to be fair, is a significant enough problem to focus on. In a patriarchal society, men have power in a multitude of ways that encourage and support their abuse of women partners. However, patriarchy can backfire on itself in a variety of ways too, including erasing women-on-men abuse due to the faulty premise that women *can't* abuse men because men hold all the power. Which simply isn't true.
Men and women both abuse their partners using mostly the same tools. But men are *protected* from the consequences of their abuse because the patriarchy empowers them, and women are *emboldened* from their abuse of men because the patriarchy renders their strength and power invisible and punishes men for being "weaker" than women (which, by the faulty patriarchal logic, would include any man who found himself abused by a woman as "weaker", by definition).
So, women don't have the systemic structural support to their abuse, but their abuse does tend to go unrecognized and insufficiently punished because the system doesn't acknowledge their power. And men victims don't have much in the way of structural support for the same reason, whereas women victims have tons of support (with varying degrees of effectiveness, given the nature of the society).
Which means that there ought to also be resources out there addressing the specific issues that men face at the hands of abusive women (or, rather, there ought to be resources addressing men abusers, women abusers, men victims, and women victims, because each category has its own unique qualities). Unfortunately, I do not know what those resources are. Does anyone know of a seminal book on women-on-men abuse the way that Why Does He Do That is, in my opinion, the seminal book on men-on-women abuse? I would really like to read it and add it to my library and my recommendation list.
Emotional Blackmail is another great book, I'm told, although I haven't read that one either. But I would recommend it second-hand on the word of some trustworthy sources who have read it.
However, that book focuses on male-on-female cisgender hetero abuse. Which, to be fair, is a significant enough problem to focus on. In a patriarchal society, men have power in a multitude of ways that encourage and support their abuse of women partners. However, patriarchy can backfire on itself in a variety of ways too, including erasing women-on-men abuse due to the faulty premise that women *can't* abuse men because men hold all the power. Which simply isn't true.
Men and women both abuse their partners using mostly the same tools. But men are *protected* from the consequences of their abuse because the patriarchy empowers them, and women are *emboldened* from their abuse of men because the patriarchy renders their strength and power invisible and punishes men for being "weaker" than women (which, by the faulty patriarchal logic, would include any man who found himself abused by a woman as "weaker", by definition).
So, women don't have the systemic structural support to their abuse, but their abuse does tend to go unrecognized and insufficiently punished because the system doesn't acknowledge their power. And men victims don't have much in the way of structural support for the same reason, whereas women victims have tons of support (with varying degrees of effectiveness, given the nature of the society).
Which means that there ought to also be resources out there addressing the specific issues that men face at the hands of abusive women (or, rather, there ought to be resources addressing men abusers, women abusers, men victims, and women victims, because each category has its own unique qualities). Unfortunately, I do not know what those resources are. Does anyone know of a seminal book on women-on-men abuse the way that Why Does He Do That is, in my opinion, the seminal book on men-on-women abuse? I would really like to read it and add it to my library and my recommendation list.
Emotional Blackmail is another great book, I'm told, although I haven't read that one either. But I would recommend it second-hand on the word of some trustworthy sources who have read it.
no subject
Date: 2/29/20 11:44 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 4/9/20 06:21 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 4/9/20 01:27 pm (UTC)From: