Wow, this one from PMM

[joreth]

Usually I don't get many come-ons through PMM, but this one fits right in!

So this guy messages me with a fairly inoffensive first email:

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hey joreth

i'll also try you on yahoo...but liked your profile and wanted to drop you a line.

bdu's, leatherman, bikes?...sound slike my kind of lady.

i too wear bdu's, have a dozen leathermen, built a custom bike, race it, building a rally acr...love music..LOVE travel to live msic...and would like to meet others with similar interests....like you.

care to talk?

john
keoni_kai_nioi@yahoo.com

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So I go check out his profile:

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BIO:
hello all. just a normal pagan celtic music worshiping single guy, tall, athletic, liberal, traveler who seeks poly females younger than myself(always gel better with the 20-30 crowd) to build a ply tria, to live and love in luxury and enjoy the fruits of my labor, as a happy healthy erotic bunch of fun folks.

---

LOOKING FOR:
1,2 or 3 poly ladies to build a family with and enjoy the beautiful place i live and have an erotic/exotic time of it. 

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That sets off some warning bells for me and I respond with something along the lines of how I already have existing partners and that sounds like it could be a problem for him.  Quite polite, for me.  So he responds with:

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doesnt bother me, as long as they are ldr's or out there in your network somewhere. only looking for the 3 of us to reside together. hows that leatherman doing?

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Dude, wtf?!?  

Here's my response:

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They are most decidedly NOT ldrs and you are an asshole for suggesting my partners are not welcome in any family you might want to build that includes me.  My partners and I are a package deal.  New partners are not expected to also date my partners (because that's just stupid to expect everyone to develop the same relationship at the same time) but they are very much a part of my life and I find you arrogant to think anyone would be willing to give up current relationships or put existing relationships on a lower priority just because *you* want to shack up with a couple of girls.  You're not considering the lives or feelings of the women you want to live with, nor their partners - you're only thinking about what *you* want from them without caring about what they might want.  I find you shallow and inconsiderate and rude.

I am NOT relocating and I will NOT give up my partners, and I will NOT give them lower priority or status.

My leatherman is just fine, what kind of question is that?  It's a tool, it exists.  How did you expect it to be doing?  Well, it's depressed right now, it hasn't worked in a few days and it just feels useless.  We think it might need to go on Zoloft if it can't pull out of this funk.  Seriously, wtf?

Comments

[debxena.livejournal.com]

Great response - there really are some pillocks out there, huh? Seems they're unavoidable, even in poly circles ...

[joreth]

yeah, actually, they're just as likely to find me in poly circles as not ... it's just a different type of jerk. Instead of cybersex, they want me to give up my entire life including job, home and relationships all to join their harem of baby-making females who will all magically get along with each other and take care of the homestead and raise the communal children.

My prickly online personality through the PMM forums usually keeps them at bay, but this guy hasn't been in the forums and my profile talking about all my partners and their partners and how happy I was with it didn't deter him either.

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

You need to start setting up dates with these people.
Tell them you want to have a picnic on Lake Jessup.
Then I sneak up behind them and BAM, alligator food.
We do the world a favor.

[joreth]

Now THERE'S an idea!

To be fair, my PMM profile doesn't have the list of "fuck-off offenses" at the beginning. But I clearly describe my romantic network. What part of "I have several long-term committed boyfriends" means "I want to give up my entire life, move in with you and join your harem"?

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

Egotistical blindness+horniness=stupidity

[mosthings1z.livejournal.com]

I can only chuckle.... I got nothing. LOL

[leora.livejournal.com]

Uneven poly always makes me uncomfortable, and I can live with all of my partners but you can only live with me is pretty uneven. It's not as bad as: I get to have other partners and you don't, but it's not much better either.

[joreth]

yeah, I'm extremely egalitarian. Now, true, I may be feeding into a stereotype here, but I might be more likely to assume that someone who is as aggressive in words and appearance as I am would be less likely to be one of several women all sharing only one man. This arrangement is just so wrong for so many different reasons.