joreth: (Super Tech)
The makeup aisle feels "like one of the most oppressive places in the world. ...

When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence."

I have a lot of friends with daughters. I hope that they grow to understand (if they don't already), that the sexist jokes and smack talk and chittering behind women's backs that they do with their buddies is the same sort of thing that other men will be doing about their daughter someday, if they don't contribute now to a change in our culture.

They can't threaten all the men in the world with their shotguns to keep their hands off their daughters, and they especially can't do anything about it if it happens out of their earshot. So they need to create a culture that is hostile towards that kind of behaviour, so that some other person can stand up for their daughters in their absence (when their daughters can't defend themselves, which they can't do if the jokes and the laughter are behind their backs).

And I hope that they grow to understand (if they don't already) that a woman doesn't deserve better treatment from them because she's someone else's daughter, but because she's a person all by herself. But maybe realizing that your own daughters deserve respect, not because they're your daughters but because they're "a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire" all on their own will make the distinction clear.

Eventually, I hope that people won't need to be told "what if it were YOUR daughter that some guy was sniggering about?" to break through that solipsistic fog because they won't need a personal connection to her to make them behave - her humanity will be enough of a reason.

http://www.viralnova.com/father-letter-to-daughter/

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