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Seriously, there's proof!
I hear that a few of you out there have been keeping up with my "online skeezballs" posts ... y'know the ones where I post the IM or email chat with someone who contacted me online in a rephrensible manner? So here's more ammunition. Apparently you guys just don't seem to get it. Some of you out there think it is acceptable to contact women randomly and proposition them for sex. Now, some women out there *want* to be propositioned for sex (or so I assume), but what hurts your cause is contacting women indescriminantly.
READ THE PROFILE.
That's one reason why we have one, to give you a brief glimpse into the types of people we want to contact us and why we want them to contact us. If you read the profile first, at least skim it, you will discover if this woman is the type of woman who will appreciate whatever kind of contact it is that you want to make. If you're looking for a long-term romance, READ THE PROFILE. If you're looking for a quick fuck, READ THE PROFILE.
Those of you guys who are the ones doing the "quick fuck" type of contacting, you may or may not realize it, but your social skills suck. You are offending women left and right and causing women to leave the online communities in droves. How are ANY of you guys supposed to meet women online when a few of you keep driving us away?
And if you think I'm exaggerating, there was a study done. Basically, someone created a few "silent bots" in IRC, which means they made some fake accounts and logged into the chat rooms but didn't say anything. Some of the accounts had female names, some had male names, and some had gender-neutral names (like all the fantasy-inspired online handles, such as "Firestar"). The results were quite clear.
The male accounts received an average of 3.7 malicious private messages. The gender neutral accounts received an average of 25 malicious private messages. And the female bots received an average of 52 malicious private messages! Remember, these bots did not say or do anything, they simply logged into a chat room with a particular kind of name.
This is why I have no patience for "compliments" about my appearance. They don't mean anything other than I'm female and online at the same time. I did nothing to earn them and the guy giving me these compliments expended nothing to give them. He didn't have to get to know me, he didn't have to put forth any effort, he merely had to note my gender and somehow he thinks that regurgitating a generic phrase about being "hot" or "sexy" will make me swoon and fall into his arms, tearing my clothes off in a fit of rising libido. WTF?
There is so much hostility and so much poor treatment of women on the internet, it should come to no surprise to anyone why my profiles are all so "prickly" and why so many men complain of having no luck in finding female partners.
Because IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
No, it's not every guy, it's a few guys, and they're ruining it for everyone! Because of a few guys who treat women like shit, all guys are having trouble meeting women. The women have an attitude problem (like me) or they just plain avoid online meetings.
So girls, stand up for yourselves and make it clear that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable and do not allow them to chase you out of the online arena. You belong here too. And guys who are not assholes, when you see this kind of behaviour from other men, don't let them get away with it. Rise up above the filth, read the profiles, treat the women with respect, and make it CLEAR to the assholes that YOU do not appreciate their behaviour either.
And those of you who are assholes, who probably won't read this anyway, since that's part of what makes you an asshole ... it's gonna be mighty hard to find someone to fuck when you've chased away all the women because of your approach. It is in YOUR best interest to stop being an asshole.
READ THE PROFILE.
That's one reason why we have one, to give you a brief glimpse into the types of people we want to contact us and why we want them to contact us. If you read the profile first, at least skim it, you will discover if this woman is the type of woman who will appreciate whatever kind of contact it is that you want to make. If you're looking for a long-term romance, READ THE PROFILE. If you're looking for a quick fuck, READ THE PROFILE.
Those of you guys who are the ones doing the "quick fuck" type of contacting, you may or may not realize it, but your social skills suck. You are offending women left and right and causing women to leave the online communities in droves. How are ANY of you guys supposed to meet women online when a few of you keep driving us away?
And if you think I'm exaggerating, there was a study done. Basically, someone created a few "silent bots" in IRC, which means they made some fake accounts and logged into the chat rooms but didn't say anything. Some of the accounts had female names, some had male names, and some had gender-neutral names (like all the fantasy-inspired online handles, such as "Firestar"). The results were quite clear.
The male accounts received an average of 3.7 malicious private messages. The gender neutral accounts received an average of 25 malicious private messages. And the female bots received an average of 52 malicious private messages! Remember, these bots did not say or do anything, they simply logged into a chat room with a particular kind of name.
This is why I have no patience for "compliments" about my appearance. They don't mean anything other than I'm female and online at the same time. I did nothing to earn them and the guy giving me these compliments expended nothing to give them. He didn't have to get to know me, he didn't have to put forth any effort, he merely had to note my gender and somehow he thinks that regurgitating a generic phrase about being "hot" or "sexy" will make me swoon and fall into his arms, tearing my clothes off in a fit of rising libido. WTF?
There is so much hostility and so much poor treatment of women on the internet, it should come to no surprise to anyone why my profiles are all so "prickly" and why so many men complain of having no luck in finding female partners.
Because IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
No, it's not every guy, it's a few guys, and they're ruining it for everyone! Because of a few guys who treat women like shit, all guys are having trouble meeting women. The women have an attitude problem (like me) or they just plain avoid online meetings.
So girls, stand up for yourselves and make it clear that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable and do not allow them to chase you out of the online arena. You belong here too. And guys who are not assholes, when you see this kind of behaviour from other men, don't let them get away with it. Rise up above the filth, read the profiles, treat the women with respect, and make it CLEAR to the assholes that YOU do not appreciate their behaviour either.
And those of you who are assholes, who probably won't read this anyway, since that's part of what makes you an asshole ... it's gonna be mighty hard to find someone to fuck when you've chased away all the women because of your approach. It is in YOUR best interest to stop being an asshole.
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Unfortunately, messages like that are like spam.
Date: 5/31/07 10:15 pm (UTC)From:And that's probably about the rate of return the "assholes" are getting. But it costs them so little to send a "Your sexy, wanna fuk?" message that getting laid one time in 333 is a bargain.
As much as I sympathize with your position, asking the non-asshole guys to express intolerance for this behavior is about like asking normal internet users to express intolerance for spam--we can't even see your spam, and quite frankly we already hate the stuff as much as you do, and we have no effective means of response to it anyway.
Guys who aren't assholes? We're already reading your profile, and responding with multi-line messages that contain enough profile-specific references to at least indicate that we've read your profile. But we have absolutely no way to affect the behavior of the assholes.
And as long as one woman in 333 responds to "Your sexy, wanna fuk?" with "Shure, if you by dinr!", the assholes will keep acting precisely that way. And there's nothing you, or we, can do about it.
*sigh*
Re: Unfortunately, messages like that are like spam.
Date: 6/1/07 05:51 am (UTC)From:Non-asshole guys come in contact with assholes all the time, when they hit on women in clubs or brag about their moves at work. When everyone stays silent and lets them have their delusions, they will never learn. If they are at least told they're being jerks, it might not change their behaviour, but at least it's trying. If they got more negative feedback then positive or no feedback, perhaps some of them will change their tune before they ever find that .3% who responds.
Maybe not, but if I don't try, then definately not.