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I've been posting a lot of movie reviews lately, and that's because I'm out of work, I'm not in the middle of a costuming project, and I have a sick cat so I can't go anywhere, which means I have plenty of time to watch all the movies in my Netflix streaming queue that I have to watch before September, when their prices nearly double and I have to cut back to delivery-only and get rid of my streaming account.
Because I've been watching so many movies, I'm thinking about movies lately too, even when I'm not watching them. The movies I'm about to discuss are not poly, but they weren't being reviewed as potential poly movies. They're movies I've had in my library for a while, years in one case, but I'm thinking about movies and relationships, and so I thought of these.
Y'know what I hate? I hate romantic comedies (yes, you could just put a period there, but I have a specific point to get to) where one person dates someone who's pretty OK, there are no obvious flaws or defects, or maybe there are some small ones but they're acceptable, but someone else has a crush on the "taken" character, and schemes and plots and connives to destroy the OK relationship so that the schemer can move in.
The reason why I hate those movies is because the schemer often wins in the end. Sure, the plot usually blows up in his face, and the love interest storms off, declaring never to speak to him again. But the plotting *did* manage to break up the OK relationship, so the love interest has all this time alone to realize how much the schemer really loves her, to have gone through all that trouble. And besides, the schemer seems really sorry. So the love interest decides to forgive and marry the asshole who counts deception and hurting his love interest as proper things to do when you love someone.
I HATE those movies.
So when I find moves that do not reward lying, cheating, scheming, and deliberately causing pain by breaking up an otherwise functioning relationship, I am shocked, and those movies make it to my library, looking incredibly out of place as chick-flicks nestled among science fiction, gratuitous action, horror, porn, and screwball comedies (yes, my movie collection looks like a guy's collection, but with probably less porn). I am doubly shocked when the movie is made in another country that is known for being not exactly "hip" with the modern romance - i.e. preferring traditional gender roles, being anti-gay, and generally being outright opposed to progressive values.
So here are two movies that fall into the romantic comedy genre that manage to avoid the 2 main cliches that make that genre such a crappy genre - the rewarding of duplicitous behaviour and the love interest dates a bastard that our hero has to "rescue" her from:
My Best Friend's Wedding
http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/My_Best_Friend_s_Wedding/1154359?trkid=2361637 - Netflix
Julia Roberts stars in this movie, and I originally liked it for completely different reasons. Julianne (Roberts' character) has a best friend named Michael. They've been friends for YEARS. They tried dating at the beginning, but it just didn't work out, and now they are each other's closest confidantes. But Michael announces that he's getting married. Suddenly, Julianne realizes that, now that someone else finds Michael irresistible, so does she! Michael begs her to be a part of the wedding, to stand by him and support him, so Julianne decides that she's in the perfect position to sabotage their wedding and win Michael back.
Sounds exactly like the kind of movie I'd hate, right? Well, when I was growing up, I had a best friend too. We tried dating and discovered that we were TOTALLY incompatible. But I always loved him, and he always professed to love me. I have since moved on, but he hasn't. So when I first saw this movie, I felt like Michael and I imagined my friend to be like Julianne. If I were to ever get married, I would totally expect him to do these kinds of things. And when I was much younger, this sounded romantic.
Yes, it's the kind of bullshit that movies and books like Twilight tell teen girls - it's romantic when a guy stalks you, obsesses over you, sabotages your other relationships out of his desperate desire for you. No, it's not creepy that he sits outside your window at night, watching your bedroom curtains as you sleep - it's romantic! Ugh. It took me YEARS to realize that this was a serious problem, because I had media bombarding me with the message that Twue Wove is all encompassing, where passion overrides logic, and you'll do ANYTHING to be with your love interest.
Blech.
So now that I know better, I still like the movie because scheming and plotting and deception are not rewarded. Which means that you can probably figure out how it's going to end. But if you're with someone who just insists on watching a chick-flick, maybe you can suggest this one and not hate it. I also like the gender twist - usually it's the guy doing the crazy slapstick scheming and winning the girl, but in this movie, it's the girl - and she's not a girlie-girl either. Bet no one here can guess why *that* might appeal to me!
Dostana
http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Dostana/70109680?trkid=2361637 - Netflix
This one caught me by surprise. It's a Bollywood movie, which means it's an Indian movie spoken in a mixture of Hindi and English that incorporates singing and dancing, much like the old Fred Astaire / Ginger Rogers musicals of the '40s and '50s, only they're made today. I watched it only because I perform one of the dance numbers as part of my Bollywood routine for festivals, weddings, and restaurants. I wanted to watch the movie that the dance number came from so I that I could understand the story behind the song that I was performing.
Y'know what I hate? I hate romantic comedies (yes, you could just put a period there, but I have a specific point to get to) where one person dates someone who's pretty OK, there are no obvious flaws or defects, or maybe there are some small ones but they're acceptable, but someone else has a crush on the "taken" character, and schemes and plots and connives to destroy the OK relationship so that the schemer can move in.
The reason why I hate those movies is because the schemer often wins in the end. Sure, the plot usually blows up in his face, and the love interest storms off, declaring never to speak to him again. But the plotting *did* manage to break up the OK relationship, so the love interest has all this time alone to realize how much the schemer really loves her, to have gone through all that trouble. And besides, the schemer seems really sorry. So the love interest decides to forgive and marry the asshole who counts deception and hurting his love interest as proper things to do when you love someone.
I HATE those movies.
So when I find moves that do not reward lying, cheating, scheming, and deliberately causing pain by breaking up an otherwise functioning relationship, I am shocked, and those movies make it to my library, looking incredibly out of place as chick-flicks nestled among science fiction, gratuitous action, horror, porn, and screwball comedies (yes, my movie collection looks like a guy's collection, but with probably less porn). I am doubly shocked when the movie is made in another country that is known for being not exactly "hip" with the modern romance - i.e. preferring traditional gender roles, being anti-gay, and generally being outright opposed to progressive values.
So here are two movies that fall into the romantic comedy genre that manage to avoid the 2 main cliches that make that genre such a crappy genre - the rewarding of duplicitous behaviour and the love interest dates a bastard that our hero has to "rescue" her from:
My Best Friend's Wedding
http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/My_Best_Friend_s_Wedding/1154359?trkid=2361637 - Netflix
Julia Roberts stars in this movie, and I originally liked it for completely different reasons. Julianne (Roberts' character) has a best friend named Michael. They've been friends for YEARS. They tried dating at the beginning, but it just didn't work out, and now they are each other's closest confidantes. But Michael announces that he's getting married. Suddenly, Julianne realizes that, now that someone else finds Michael irresistible, so does she! Michael begs her to be a part of the wedding, to stand by him and support him, so Julianne decides that she's in the perfect position to sabotage their wedding and win Michael back.
Sounds exactly like the kind of movie I'd hate, right? Well, when I was growing up, I had a best friend too. We tried dating and discovered that we were TOTALLY incompatible. But I always loved him, and he always professed to love me. I have since moved on, but he hasn't. So when I first saw this movie, I felt like Michael and I imagined my friend to be like Julianne. If I were to ever get married, I would totally expect him to do these kinds of things. And when I was much younger, this sounded romantic.
Yes, it's the kind of bullshit that movies and books like Twilight tell teen girls - it's romantic when a guy stalks you, obsesses over you, sabotages your other relationships out of his desperate desire for you. No, it's not creepy that he sits outside your window at night, watching your bedroom curtains as you sleep - it's romantic! Ugh. It took me YEARS to realize that this was a serious problem, because I had media bombarding me with the message that Twue Wove is all encompassing, where passion overrides logic, and you'll do ANYTHING to be with your love interest.
Blech.
So now that I know better, I still like the movie because scheming and plotting and deception are not rewarded. Which means that you can probably figure out how it's going to end. But if you're with someone who just insists on watching a chick-flick, maybe you can suggest this one and not hate it. I also like the gender twist - usually it's the guy doing the crazy slapstick scheming and winning the girl, but in this movie, it's the girl - and she's not a girlie-girl either. Bet no one here can guess why *that* might appeal to me!
Dostana
http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Dostana/70109680?trkid=2361637 - Netflix
This one caught me by surprise. It's a Bollywood movie, which means it's an Indian movie spoken in a mixture of Hindi and English that incorporates singing and dancing, much like the old Fred Astaire / Ginger Rogers musicals of the '40s and '50s, only they're made today. I watched it only because I perform one of the dance numbers as part of my Bollywood routine for festivals, weddings, and restaurants. I wanted to watch the movie that the dance number came from so I that I could understand the story behind the song that I was performing.
And, surprisingly, I'm glad I did. This story takes place in Miami, and it's about two Hindi men who are in dire need of housing in a city where available housing is rare. Although they don't know each other, they both apply to rent rooms in a posh apartment owned by a Hindi woman whose niece is living in the third bedroom. Being the protective Indian auntie, naturally she won't let two men live in the same apartment as her niece. So the men conspire to convince her that they're gay, and lovers, so that they won't be considered threatening, just to get the rooms. They don't bargain on the niece being hot, young, single, smart, interesting, and hot (yes, I said that twice).
To their credit, the men *do* want to tell the niece the truth about themselves right away and just hide it from the auntie landlord, but auntie always seems to pop in when they try to tell her. Eventually, so much time passes, that they start to feel that they can't tell her because now she'll feel betrayed for having fallen for this lie for so long.
Then, to make matters worse, the two men fall in love with her. So they plot and scheme and backstab and do everything in their power to try and win her love away from the other, all while hiding that they love her (and that they're sabotaging each other's plans).
But THEN, she goes and falls for another guy. So now the two roomies are not only trying to sabotage each other, but they're also teaming up to try and sabotage the relationship with the new guy, who isn't a part of any of this drama and is genuinely a nice guy.
So, again, you'd think this was exactly the kind of movie that I'd hate. But in spite of the stereotypes of gay men for comedy, the movie was actually very supportive of homosexuality (which I was NOT expecting, coming from a Bollywood movie) and the plotting and scheming was not rewarded. So, just like with My Best Friend's Wedding, you can probably guess the ending, but if you're in the mood for a chick-flick, or you're stuck watching one because someone else wants to see one, I recommend this one also as a movie you might not hate.
So there you go - two "chick-flicks" that I don't hate. In fact, I actually quite like them both. A lot. They're still romantic comedies, so don't expect *too* much from them. But sometimes, I just like a bit of fluff, and these movies don't make me feel bad that my relationships can't possibly live up to the fantasy because they're so unrealistic, nor do they make me weep for the future of society where people think secrets and lies are the way to get a partner, and that passion makes up for compatibility, and that love conquers all. They're simple and goofy, but they're more realistic and honest than most others in this genre. So I recommend them.
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no subject
Date: 8/10/11 09:06 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 8/10/11 09:08 pm (UTC)From:Unlike the movie I watched last night for my new dance routine :-( Same old guy & girl fall in love at first sight, guy does something stupid, sends her into the arms of a man totally unsuitable for her, first guy has to win her back. BORING!
Thanks for the review
Date: 11/8/11 07:33 am (UTC)From:Re: Thanks for the review
Date: 11/9/11 01:36 am (UTC)From:Considering that the culture that sprang this genre of movies still allows gays to be stoned to death, I think the movie actually treated homosexuality quite favorably. But it has to be taken in that context. This is a huge step forward for that culture and the female lead actually champions for gay rights & gay acceptance whenever someone is opposed. She's an independent single woman and she supports gay relationships.
So, if you can overlook using-homosexuality-as-a-running-joke since the writers were, most likely, straight men from a homophobic culture, it was actually quite progressive for its genre.