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exploding07: nicest body i have seen in a long time
joreth: did you read my profile?
exploding07: yes
joreth: then why did you open with that line?
exploding07: just giving you a compliment not
asking to fuck you
joreth: then you didn't read the profile
joreth: I specifically say I don't want to hear
compliments about my appearance
exploding07: u have a nice stomach sorry
joreth: fuck off
*** exploding07's IC window is closed
Quite clearly the people willing to contact me aren't reading my profile. I specifically say to read my profile and comment on something I SAY in there, not my appearance. I also quite clearly say I will post these IM chats in my journal, and you can read all my past journal entries to see the kinds of approaches that don't work for me. This stuff you can tell from the very beginning before ever getting bogged down in the novel that is my profile. It takes a special kind of dumbass to have *read* my profile and STILL say something stupid like this.
For those of you who have not read my OKCupid profile and don't want to go through the trouble of finding it, I'll post the very first lines in the profile here:
If you haven't read my profile IN FULL ... FUCK OFF
If you're monogamous and looking for The One or Ms. Right ... FUCK OFF
If you're looking for cybersex ... FUCK OFF
If you're looking for kinky fetish sex, or sex in general ... FUCK OFF
If you're a man looking to add another wife to his collection ... FUCK OFF
If all you can think of to say to me is "ur hot" or "ur sexy" or "nice pics" or "hey beautiful" or anything related ... FUCK OFF
If you think my profile is too harsh or too long and you feel the need to advise me on how to make it "better" so I can attract more guys ... FUCK OFF
Anyone who doesn't fuck off and should will find their entire correspondence, including username, published in my journal here, my livejournal, and on my website. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
The line in question has been underlined. Really, how much clearer can I be?
See, the thing is, it's not even that I don't like compliments or don't want to know people think I'm attractive or desirable. It's that I want to be *heard*. I want people to show a willingness to listen to what I have to say, to care about my thoughts and feelings, and who I am is so much more than a body I was born with that I had very little to do with. I don't work out, I eat for health not looks, I don't do anything with my hair but brush it, and I wear clothing that is comfortable without caring if I look good in it or not. So if someone thinks I'm attractive, I had nothing to do with that. If you're opening a conversation for the first time with someone using a line she specifically says "don't say this to me", then you have managed to tell me with one line of text that you don't care about what I have to say, you don't care about my feelings, my words are not worth your time. So what on earth makes you think I am willing to spend any of my valuable time on someone who doesn't think I'm valuable to him?
