joreth: (Misty in Box)
OK, everyone else is doing this, I will to:

49 38 Questions for Grownups (where'd the others go?)

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?! 'Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Drank alcohol? Bah!

So instead, here: 49 38 questions for the people who are a little older!

What bill do you hate paying the most?
All of them, I hate spending money.  I've spent too much time being poor, I bitterly resent paying for basic necessities, which are all I currently have because I can only very rarely afford "luxuries" (like healthcare).

Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Uh, my version of "romantic" is not generally the same as other people's.  I thought it was "romantic" sharing a meal with my sweetie [ profile] datan0de and his wife [ profile] femetal.  I thought it was "romantic" when he drew a stick-figure drawing of me murding people on the styrofoam box (which I then cut out and kept).  I once thought it was "romantic" that someone replaced my car stereo for me, when mine died, as a surprise when I went out of town and lent him my car.  I thought it was "romantic" to have sex with someone for the first time while his wife was in bed with us listening and sharing the experience with us.  I thought it was "romantic" having [ profile] tacit intentionally push my emotional buttons and make me do something I was *extremely* uncomfortable doing but wanted to get over being uncomfortable about.  I thought it was "romantic" having [ profile] tacit go through my answers to his online fetish meme and having him accept and embrace those parts of me I am most embarassed about.  I thought it was "romantic" that both [ profile] tacit and [ profile] datan0de eagerly jumped at the chance to allow me to make clones of their penises so that I can use them to masturbate with.  But, I'm weird like that.

What do you really want to be doing right now?
There are so many different things that I want to be doing, I don't know if I could pick any one of them as higher priority than the others.  I really want to be at Dragoncon right now - [ profile] datan0de and [ profile] tacit have been frustratingly vague and teasing about their plans scheming and I'm probably rushing towards my own impending doom but I can't help eagerly anticipating the fruits of the truce I helped to orchestrate back at Frolicon.  I want to be working on a dozen different costumes I have planned, including a complete Victorian outfit (from the undergarments on out), 3 more Evil Elemental Elves, a latex comicbook Catwoman, the new addition of armor to my old latex Baroness, a pile of dance skirts I've been meaning to make out of old concert t-shirts when I worked on the crew, and lots more chain mail!  I want to be admiring my soon-to-be-newly-cleaned and organized room that will hopefully stay clean and organized after I get all the rest of the crap put away that I took out of my room to sort so I can pack for Dragoncon and that I had to pick up off the floor because it flooded 3 days ago and the carpet is still wet.  I want to be doing any number of things on my updated and revised Sex Acts I Haven't Done Yet And Want To list with [ profile] tacit[ profile] datan0de  and [ profile] zensidhe (some of them require a combination of 2 or all 3 of the boys at once, and one or two could  even accomodate their spouses).  And I want to be cuddled up on my new and comfy bed, eating ice cream with [ profile] datan0de and watching cheesy '80s movies. #NRE

How many colleges did you attend?
3 different colleges, 4 different majors.  I think I'm done now.

Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It's black, it's warm (the A/C is on really high to try and dry out the carpet), and it was on top of the pile in the drawer.  This is actually my usual answer, except substitute "it's warm" for "it's cool in this fucking Florida humidity".

What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I think it's a complicated mess, but overall the price pisses me off, so I just keep reminding myself that when the prices skyrocketed, there was suddenly a push to find alternative fuel sources, and when they dropped, the focus on alt. sources dropped.

First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Hazy memories of, um, video chat with [ profile] datan0de earlier this morning - his morning starts several hours earlier than mine does, so I went back to bed.  I could really get used to waking up early for more um-video chats!

Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Angry thoughts of things I didn't say in my last response to my most recent breakup discussion (and the realization that it was probably a good thing I stopped the discussion before I said them, which is why they're running around in my brain now - no outlet).

Do you miss being a child?
Ugh, other than the part where someone else paid for all the bills and I could just blissfully expect the lights to turn on tomorrow through no intervention on my part, no, I don't miss anything about being a child.  All the best parts I got to keep, only now I know some things about life that the child-me couldn't possibly - and that makes even the best kid-parts way better!

What errand/chore do you despise?
Dishes.  I'd rather do any other household chore than dishes.  That includes cleaning the bathroom.  I might actually bother to cook again if I had someone else to clean my dishes for me.  Even when I *can* make a dish for just one person, I almost always opt not to in favor of not doing dishes afterwards.  Meals that cook in their own container are my friend!

Get up early or sleep in?
If by "get up early" you mean "early evening"... 

Have you found real love yet?
Several times.  Is there "love" that isn't real?

Favorite lunch meat:
Cold, sliced "lunchmeat": turkey.  Hot meat that just happens to be eaten at lunchtime: steak.

What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
A major dip in my checking account.

Beach or lake?
Totally depends on the context.  I'll take a CA beach over a tropical beach any day, but for swimming, I prefer warm water and I prefer to swim without wildlife and bacteria (unless it's with dolphins).  Also, depends on whether the activity is for photos, for hanging out with friends, for swimming, for tanning, or for sex.  All very different requirements.

Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
First, I think the government needs to decide if it is going to regulate it as per contract law, in which case, keep the damn religious morality out of it, or if it's going to be a "religious observance", in which case, keep the damn government out of it.  I think the current version of legal marriage is a patchwork of changing morality and legal structure haphazardly slapped onto an outdated practice.  What people use marriage for today is not what marriage used to be used for, but the structure incorporates elements from previous incarnations and it shouldn't.  I have no problem with people wanting to define their marriages as something that is not based on past models, but I do have a problem with the fact that the legal and religious structures *do* continue to build on past models.

Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Never seen either.

What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Wow, there are so many.  Living or non?  Darwin, Dawkins, Randi, the Founding Fathers, Penn & Teller, John Steward Mill

Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Several times.  I have pictures.

Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Not for it's *intended* purpose, no.

Ring tone?
The only free ringtone I have that sounds most like a classic phone.

Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Probably in a parking lot.

Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
I managed to grow up in CA and still never make it to Muir Woods or Yosemite!  Muir Woods was supposed to be my Graduation Trip, but my friends all flaked out on me and I never got to go.

Do you go to church?
Hahahahaha.  No, but I used to sing in the church choir.  I would, however, love to do a series of erotic photos inspired by a set I saw recently by a guy who is getting sued for taking erotic photos in a church.  I would also LOVE to have sex in a confessional!  I gave a blowjob once behind the church during choir practice, and I had sex in the parking lot, but I want to try it in some more, uh, difficult places.

At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Neither.  I love my career and I hope I can do it for the rest of my life, although I would like to move up on the ladder a bit more, work more often, and make better wages.  I don't fancy changing my career and I rather don't fancy having to start the same career over again somewhere new if I have to work my way up from the bottom like I've already done twice in this same career (first when I got started, and again when I moved to FL).  I have also just started a new relationship that's going fantastically, and a new um-friendship that's been quite fun, plus I'm still with my long-time sweetie and a very-occasional FWB of several years, so I'm rather polysaturated at the moment.

How old are you?

Do you have a go to person?
Depends on for what.  I go-to my FWB for car repairs and uncomplicated, vanilla sex, I go-to my parents for financial assistance, I go-to my sweeties for emotional support and more complicated sex and just hanging out for fun.  I no longer have anyone I can count on for the practical applications of legal issues in emergencies.  My parents are the backup source for that, but they live far away and don't really understand some of my wishes in case of emergency - but they know the processes and as next of kin, there are no legal difficulties barring their ability to intervene.

Are you where you want to be in life?
I am *mostly* where I want to be in life.  My life is pretty fucking awesome, but there are a few things I wouldn't mind improving.  I'd like to work more often, particularly more camera work.  I'd like to travel more often, which I could do if I worked more often.  I'd like to not be living in Florida, but at the same time, I love my job and my friends here and don't want to leave them.  If I could either transplant all of that to Northern CA or I could transplant the weather and the geography (and a few West-Coast friends) here, then things would be perfect, even without more work or more travel.  Although life falls short of "perfection", it's still really where I want to be.  I'm even right about where I want to be in my emotional development - some things have been handled and some things are in the process of being handled, and I'm OK with that.

Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
G.I. Joe, Transformers, He-Man & She-Ra, Jem & The Holograms, Voltron, Smurfs, Gummy Bears, Loony Tunes, Animaniacs

What about you do you think has changed the most?
I've changed an awful lot about myself - mostly my outlook on things as I've gained access to better education.  I no longer believe in anything supernatural, for instance, whereas I was a practicing wiccan as early as 2nd grade and I believed in ghosts and reincarnation and ESP.  I discovered polyamory and no longer believe in The One True Way for relationships.

Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?
Oh fuck no!  I had fun for some of it, but man was I naive!  I also had a lot of shit that I wouldn't wish on anyone else.  Graduation day was both the best and worst day of my life.  I'm so glad I'm not back there anymore!

Are there times you still feel like a kid?
That's difficult - mostly as a kid I didn't feel like a kid.  I've never really felt like a "kid", but I do retain a sense of amusement, of awe, and a little bit of silliness.

Did you ever own troll dolls?
I think I did, but I can't say for certain if those in my memory were actually mine or my sister's.

Did you have a pager?
Yep, it's how my older, high-school-drop-out fiance and I communicated throughout the day while I was still in school and how I convinced my mom to let me out of her sight once I got my driver's license because she could just page me if she wanted to reach me.  I still have my old list of pager codes somewhere, that used a series of 3-digit codes to communicate just about anything you might want to say to someone - and whatever the codes didn't cover, the numeric alphabet did.

Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
Depends on context.  On campus, my clique's spot was the payphone out behind the cafeteria, where we could send pager messages back and forth to our respective boyfriends.  In the neighborhood, it was the community pool, where we were eligible to work starting at age 12 and where we were all on the swim team together, so we gathered mostly without parental supervision because the parents all assumed we were being supervised by the adult managers (who were never there).

Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
Since I don't want kids, that's a hard question.  My version of "children" are my cats, and sure, I think I made a great pet-friend as a kid.  I think I would have made a good influence on my nephew, so that's about as close as I can get to really parsing that question.

Who do you think impacted your life the most?
Depends on context, like almost anything else.  My high school counselor & my sister (with severe emotional issues) prompted my interest in psychology and sociology that I still use today in my activism.  My Acting For Film & Television teacher convinced me to change majors and go into the entertainment industry, and that has seriously impacted my life.  My second fiance was so horribly possessive and controlling that he prompted me into swearing off monogamy forever.  [ profile] meowse was the first person to say the word "polyamory" to me, so I'd say that had a pretty fucking huge impact on my life.  [ profile] tacit has been my inspiration and my foundation for all the self-improvement and self-exploration I have done over the last 5 years and he has taken me in leaps and bounds into the person I am today.

Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
I originally answered this in the previous question, since the answers apply, but I'll leave them separated here instead.  

Mrs. Gertz, my kindergarten teacher first prompted my passion for teaching and mentoring.  I went back and mentored her class for years afterwards.  She also encouraged an interest in computers and robotics that, to this day, I regret I never followed through on, when she brought in a computer-controlled wireless robot about 3 or 4 feet tall that I could give simple commands to that made it roll forward, backward, turn to the left or right, or spin in place.  I'm pretty sure it did other things, but that's all I remember it doing.  I was the only one in the class who grasped the concepts at that age enough to "program" the robot without help or supervision.  She also encouraged my interest in musical instruments.

My second-grade teacher, Mrs. Freeman sparked an interest in learning that far outweighed any other general interest in learning I had before or that any other teacher garnered since (a few sparked interests in particular subjects, but she fostered a love of learning for learning's sake).  She's the one who insisted I go into the Gifted And Talented Educational program even though I was passed over for testing for it in first grade, when we were usually tested for it.  

Our school librarian, whose name escapes me now but whose face I can still see clearly, with her messy brunette bun atop her head and penchant for denim jumpers, encouraged my love of books, rather than discouraged as so many people did before.  I was such a voracious reader that most people were telling me to put down my books, not pick up more.  Oh!  Her name was Mrs. Gellman.  She made me editor of the school paper, where I interviewed famous children's authors that she brought to the school and where I learned how to use a word processor.

I mentioned my high school counselor above.  I didn't really see her much outside of our required scholastic counseling, until my then-best-friend was abused by her father and I "kidnapped" her to rescue her and enlisted the help of the school counselor to keep her safe using the legal system.  I also went to my counselor for advice on how to mediate between my mother and my deeply troubled sister, who has since gotten most of her shit together.

My high-school alegebra teacher stands out because she was one of the last teachers to ever really understand that my brain works at a different pace than everyone else's.  I'm not particuarly smart compared to other people, but I do grasp concepts quickly and I learn better by reading/doing than by hearing.  Our school was college-prep, so we were given syllabuses like in college, that told us what to expect for the entire semester, including our homework assignments.  I would do my homework for the entire week in class on Monday, teaching myself from the book rather than listen to the lecture, and that allowed me to read in class all the rest of the week.  The teacher thought I was cheating because I didn't appear to pay attention yet I always got A's and I also never showed my work because I had a tendency to skip steps in my head.  One day, convinced she would "catch" me, she had me solve a problem on the board that was from later in that week's lesson, that she hadn't yet taught us to solve.  I stared at it for a few minutes, then wrote the answer without writing out any of the steps.  She asked how I arrived at the answer, I told her, she made me write out each step (which was *painfully* tedious to me), and I rolled my eyes and complied.  She never disbelieved me after that and, in fact, made me a math tutor for the next 3 years in geometry, alebra II and trig, even awarding me some kind of exemplary student award in math my junior year.  She was one of the last teachers to allow me to prove myself to her and to earn her respect based on my actual abilities, and to then treat me as an adult.  Almost all my college teachers thereafter expected me follow the plan whether it applied to me or not.

My Acting For Film And Television teacher, whom I mentioned above, also treated me as an adult and, once I had proved myself, took me at face value and respected me accordingly.  He stands out for his passionate argument that I was too talented and skilled to give up on the entertainment industry and that I could indeed make a living at it.  And I've never looked back.

--Okay. Your turn!

Date: 8/28/09 01:05 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile]
You crack me up. :-) These were great answers, although I should have allowed more time for reading this entry, it being you. LOL

Date: 8/28/09 09:28 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile]
Next time you're out this way, I'm pretty much always looking for excuses to visit the Sierras, emphasis on "Yosemite" (it's a syllable as well as a park and a valley).

Date: 8/29/09 03:36 am (UTC)From: [identity profile]
I actually had to stop and comment on this: I want to try it in some more, uh, difficult places..

That's um, kind of a thing of mine. Which is odd, because until just now, I've never heard anyone else voice that. I've done the parking lot, and the graveyard by the church, but I've never had the chance to do more.

And it has to be a cathedral. Preferably Catholic.


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