What makes people contact me on personals sites?

[joreth]

I haven't quite figured out what makes some people contact me. Our profiles are here so that we can get some idea of a person to decide if we want to contact them or not. So people log in and search around and come to my profile. But, without reading it, they IM me. Throughout the course of the IM conversation, we discover that we have absolutely no common interests, radically different philosophical viewpoints, and strong opinions on lifestyle decisions. In other words, we can do nothing but argue about everything that makes us who we are. Even if you don't read my full profile, you can glance up at the top of the page (on OKCupid) where it gives percentages for how well we match up as romantic partners, friends, and enemies.

So someone just IMed me who matches only 18% as a romantic partner, but 51% as an enemy. Why would you contact someone with those stats? Then I go on to compare our profiles and it seems everything about who he is revolves around rap music. According to his profile, he seems to have no other interests or opinions about anything. In my profile, I say that is the ONE type of music I dislike. So why?

Someone else IMed me and I think this conversation is fairly illustrative about this odd phenomenon. Parts of it are cut off, but it starts out with him making a couple of comments that I don't remember that tipped me off that he wouldn't get along with me and he asked what I do for a living. Since I mention that in my profile, I suspected that he didn't actually read it and I suggested he do so before contacting people. He then mentions something about wanting to meet other straight people. Because of all my various alternative-lifestyle contacts, the word "straight" means lots of different things, so I ask for clarification. He's talking strictly about sexual orientation. So I'm probably not a good person for him to talk to then, because I have had 2 girlfriends in my past and I'm very active in the pro-gay-rights movement. He asks me if I liked the change. I ask, "what change". He says, the change of being attracted to the opposite sex. I say there was no change. So he asks how long I've been "a gay".

Me: first of all, it's not polite to say "a gay"
Me: second of all, I'm not gay
Me: I fall in love with people, gender is irrelevent
Me: I just tend to like guys more often than girls
Me: but I don't care what their plumbing is
Him: I see
Him: you try to be natural right?
Me: what do you mean by that?
Him: try to love whatever you pleases
Me: I don't have to try anything. I love whomever I
love
Me: love doesn't like to be restricted by rules and
regulations
Him: but I think, God created male and female
Me: I'm athiest
Him: to be together
Him: and anything outside that is wrong
Me: I'm bi- and gay-friendly
Me: and I'm poly
Me: so I think we shouldn't talk to each other
anymore
Me: hence, my suggestion that you more fully
read people's profiles before contacting them
Him: I know thanks
Him: and I don't need to forced my self to
become your friend
Him: actually athiest are very difficult to talk with
Me: then stop talking wtih me
Him: but I will advice you for a change of heart
Me: no change of heart, sorry
Him: try to listen to people who are willing
assist you
Him: though I m not too good at talking and
decieving
Me: you're not willing to assist me, you believe I'm
wrong and I don't want to change
Him: No...not I m not willing
Him: I wish I could talk and you believe
Him: but I have tried it before
Him: I only make things worst for myself and
the person I m trying to advice
Me: then your advice holds no purpose for me. If I
am supposed to try listening to people who want to
assist me, and you don't want to be that person, then
I have no reason to listen toyou
Me: I have some advice for you
Me: don't offer unsolicited advice
Him: that is what I m talking about
Him: and most atheist are intelligent
Me: we have nothing in common and totally
different outlooks on life, what on earth made you
decide to contact me?
Him: sorry
Him: I was just looking for new friends
Me: but why would you think I would make a
potential friend?
Me: we have nothing in common to talk about
Him: I just realise that!!!
Him: we can disconnect now
Me: if you had read my profile, you would have
known that before contacting me
Him: ok
Him: sorry
Him: bye
*** IC window is closed


Please, for fuck's sake, read people's profiles before contacting them! It will save both of you time and frustration.

Comments

[zensidhe.livejournal.com]

Dude... What a tool.

[funky-firelord.livejournal.com]

This would not be on ok cupid by any chance would it?

Intersting to note that on that site, Faery gets about 2/3 IM'S every time she goes on there. 95% of them are male muphets like the one you talked to.

Also interesting to note a lot of the girls seems to ignore messages from guys (who can blame them) but it does make it very hard if you are a guy who has read the persons profile and really does want Interesting conversation, shared with like minded people.

Bit like car insurance, if you 18 your going to pay the high price for all the other 18 year old hothead drivers...

*hugs*

Firelord

[joreth]

Yes, I was going to mention that, but apparently I didn't. I don't ignore anyone, but I do check out the profile of anyone who messages me before I answer them back. But it's not just OKCupid, it's every single meeting site I've ever been on, way back to IRC. You should read my Orkut profile! It involves a lot of cussing and telling people to leave me alone. I still get contacted abotu twice a day.

[funky-firelord.livejournal.com]

You should read my Orkut profile! It involves a lot of cussing and telling people to leave me alone

Are yes I see what you mean. On Faery's Profile she just tells the guys to talk to me if they want to stand a chance of getting a response.

I'm really evil if I happen to be online at the same time as her and some guy start hitting on her (badly) I send them little comments with marks out of 10. They don't seem to like that for some reason.

I like your Profile joreth, you say what you want and what you don't want, you seem to not suffer fools gladly(a good thing btw). Of course the sticking point is that the idiots that give us poor guys a bad name are the same sort that would not read it or even understand it.

:-)

Firelord

[firerose10.livejournal.com]

OK - was snickering as i read this post yesterday since i SO know how you feel with it...

Then today some guy sends me an e-mail complimenting me on my "sexu pictures"???? I have sexu pictures? And i have a feeling that it's one of the same guys who has msg'd you recently - i see a whole SLEW of comments that he has posted on women's profiles.