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www.quora.com/Would-you-be-offended-if-someone-wanted-to-have-sex-with-you-but-not-date-have-a-relationship-with-you/answer/Joreth-Innkeeper
Q. Would you be offended if someone wanted to have sex with you but not date/have a relationship with you?
A. Seeing as how I frequently proposition people for the same, I wouldn’t be offended at the *desire* at all. I might be offended at the *way* it was asked or offered. I find it completely inoffensive to acknowledge that two people may be incompatible for a romantic relationship and yet still have some sexual attraction to each other. If that’s the spirit in which the proposition is made, I wouldn’t be offended at all.
But if he looked *down* on me, if he didn’t think I was *worthy* of a romantic relationship, if he felt ashamed of being connected to me, if he was concerned about what other people might think of our relationship, if he saw me as a challenge to be won, if he was interested in me merely as a living masturbatory aid and an interchangeable body and it wasn’t personal to me at all, if he was dismissive of me, if he felt entitled to sex with me, if he felt I owed him sex for any reason, if he felt he was doing me a favor by offering sex, if he did not respect my consent and continued to pursue me after a rejection … if he felt any number of things that wasn’t just a sincere and genuine attraction to me as a person in a sexual role - *that* would probably be offensive to me.
All kinds of relationships have value, including sex-only without emotional connection or intertwined commitments. Not everyone needs to *like* every kind of relationship, but they all have value.
Q. Would you be offended if someone wanted to have sex with you but not date/have a relationship with you?
A. Seeing as how I frequently proposition people for the same, I wouldn’t be offended at the *desire* at all. I might be offended at the *way* it was asked or offered. I find it completely inoffensive to acknowledge that two people may be incompatible for a romantic relationship and yet still have some sexual attraction to each other. If that’s the spirit in which the proposition is made, I wouldn’t be offended at all.
But if he looked *down* on me, if he didn’t think I was *worthy* of a romantic relationship, if he felt ashamed of being connected to me, if he was concerned about what other people might think of our relationship, if he saw me as a challenge to be won, if he was interested in me merely as a living masturbatory aid and an interchangeable body and it wasn’t personal to me at all, if he was dismissive of me, if he felt entitled to sex with me, if he felt I owed him sex for any reason, if he felt he was doing me a favor by offering sex, if he did not respect my consent and continued to pursue me after a rejection … if he felt any number of things that wasn’t just a sincere and genuine attraction to me as a person in a sexual role - *that* would probably be offensive to me.
All kinds of relationships have value, including sex-only without emotional connection or intertwined commitments. Not everyone needs to *like* every kind of relationship, but they all have value.
