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https://www.quora.com/Would-you-ever-consider-a-new-relationship-with-someone-who-previously-dumped-you/answer/Joreth-Innkeeper
Q. Would you ever consider a new relationship with someone who previously dumped you?
A. I have considered it. I have given second chances. I have gotten into several relationships with people who dumped me previously. I have regretted every single instance of this. Without exception.
Every time the second chance ends, I get bitter and say “no second chances ever again! If we break up, it’s for a reason!” And then someone comes along and, for some reason, I justify to myself that this one is different because of whatever specific circumstances. It’s never the exact same thing twice, but that’s because everyone I date is a different person. The relationship itself was different. The breakup was different. The reasons for the breakup was different. I wanted different things back then than I do this time. Whatever, it’s always “different”.
And not once have I ever been correct.
Not only have I never once been correct, but I regretted the second chance to the point of actually wishing I could undo the entire thing. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but for the most part, I’ve learned things from those mistakes that make me who I am today. If I were handed a magic telephone booth and told I could go back in time to change whatever I wanted about my own life, most of those things I wouldn’t actually change.
These second chances? Yeah, I’d change them. I’d erase the whole fucking thing. I’d get rid of all the good times that went along with them. I’d delete any lessons I supposedly learned from them. I’d get rid of the whole second chance for each and every one of them.
So here I am, still stinging from my most recent poor “second chance”, still angry about it, telling everyone about how I keep saying that I don’t do second chances and that each time I do is somehow an “exception” to the rule, knowing that I will probably find some other “exception” to justify doing it again in the future. And that I’ll write another blog post or social media post or advice column or whatever, telling people that second chances are bullshit and I don’t like to do them.
I am, apparently, an incurable optimist hiding in the skin of a cynic. I ought to listen to the cynic more often.
Q. Would you ever consider a new relationship with someone who previously dumped you?
A. I have considered it. I have given second chances. I have gotten into several relationships with people who dumped me previously. I have regretted every single instance of this. Without exception.
Every time the second chance ends, I get bitter and say “no second chances ever again! If we break up, it’s for a reason!” And then someone comes along and, for some reason, I justify to myself that this one is different because of whatever specific circumstances. It’s never the exact same thing twice, but that’s because everyone I date is a different person. The relationship itself was different. The breakup was different. The reasons for the breakup was different. I wanted different things back then than I do this time. Whatever, it’s always “different”.
And not once have I ever been correct.
Not only have I never once been correct, but I regretted the second chance to the point of actually wishing I could undo the entire thing. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but for the most part, I’ve learned things from those mistakes that make me who I am today. If I were handed a magic telephone booth and told I could go back in time to change whatever I wanted about my own life, most of those things I wouldn’t actually change.
These second chances? Yeah, I’d change them. I’d erase the whole fucking thing. I’d get rid of all the good times that went along with them. I’d delete any lessons I supposedly learned from them. I’d get rid of the whole second chance for each and every one of them.
So here I am, still stinging from my most recent poor “second chance”, still angry about it, telling everyone about how I keep saying that I don’t do second chances and that each time I do is somehow an “exception” to the rule, knowing that I will probably find some other “exception” to justify doing it again in the future. And that I’ll write another blog post or social media post or advice column or whatever, telling people that second chances are bullshit and I don’t like to do them.
I am, apparently, an incurable optimist hiding in the skin of a cynic. I ought to listen to the cynic more often.
