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Someone shared something on Facebook that has since been deleted or made private or something so my share of it says that the content is not available. Judging by my commentary, it was probably something about "what kind of advice would you give to the current partner of your ex-partner?" So, here's mine:
As long as you don't actually expect him to be present or do any work to maintain the relationship, things will be great, because he's genuinely a nice, friendly, charming person. He just wants things to happen without any effort on his part.
#MostRecentExAnywayBecauseIHaveHadMoreExesThanMostPeopleCertainlyMoreThanMonogamousPeople
He's actually a pretty decent guy. He does a fair amount of Relationship Maintenance. Our breakup was amicable and due mostly to outside political pressures. If you have enough in common with him to like him for dating in the first place, he'll probably be a good boyfriend for you. I was recently reminded to thank him for being a good boyfriend, actually, thanks to a comparison to the most recent ex.
#2ExesAgo
Oh sweetie. Well, good luck! And here's a domestic abuse hotline, just in case. And remember, going catatonic every time you have an intense disagreement is not normal and you should not end up apologizing for bringing up your concerns over his need to control your body.
#3ExesAgo
Just remember to never date anyone else who might make him feel threatened (i.e. anyone else) and to magically divine what he wants of you, because he won't actually tell you if something about you bothers him since he's so concerned with not "making" you "change who you are" for him even if it's literally not a big deal that you wouldn't mind compromising on, but he will dump you for not having made those changes anyway.
Oh, and don't be a feminist. Things will go much more smoothly if you can only see how much shit men get for being men.
#4ExesAgo
Congratulations! He's one of the good ones. If he wasn't so damned monogamous, I'd probably try to get back with him myself.
#HighSchoolSweetheart
I hope you aren't one of those people who needs "closure". He likes ghosting. And if he does it to you and comes back to say he made a mistake, he didn't. If he did it once, he'll do it again.
#MoreThanOneExFitsThisDescription
Don't ever leave your computer or devices out where he can get them unattended. He works in IT and knows how to install keystroke logs and doesn't see anything wrong with using them. Also never tell him about any fantasies involving coercion - no "scary burglar takes advantage of the poor helpless college student" role play or whatever. He can't tell the difference between "fuck off, I said not tonight" and "oh no! There's a burglar in my house who bears a striking resemblance to my boyfriend! Whatever shall I do?!"
#IAmLosingCountOfHowManyExesAgoTheseAllAre
Cupcake, his 20-year-older, Scottish truck driving buddy who thought hanging around with a high schooler in his thirties was a great idea and who sounds suspiciously like him talking with a bad Scottish accent with the phone pulled away from his mouth while you're on the other end wondering where the fuck he is, is not real.
Neither is the extremely jealous ex-girlfriend with the body of a professional weight lifter who somehow has natural DD cups and who magically seems to find him and try to "win him back" every time you have a fight who he has to "protect" you from by never letting you meet her because she's such a badass fighter who has spent time in jail that she would kill you.
Neither is his dead ex-baby-mama from middle school (yes, she got pregnant, lost the baby, and then died of cancer all before she could legally drive) who is the most delicate little feminine doll of a girl who nobody will ever live up to because she died so she's fucking perfect.
His disapproving, old-fashioned, stay-at-home mother whom he expects his wife to emulate, however, is very real.
#MyAbusiveExFiance #ThisIsWhyWeNeedDomesticAbuseEducationBecauseNotAllAbuseIsPhysical
Actually, since he threatened to kill me and has been stalking me for most of my life, the fact that you use access to your children as a method of controlling him and keeping him near you is kinda helpful for all the other women he can't tie down because you keep cockblocking him, and also for me because he won't leave the state to come find me as long as his kids keep him there. So, I'm worried about those kids of y'alls with the both of you being such shitty people, but honestly, you're doing me a favor, so carry on.
Unless you finally wise up and just have him put in jail. I'm sure you can find some legitimate reason. And then maybe get some therapy.
#MyExStalker
As long as you don't actually expect him to be present or do any work to maintain the relationship, things will be great, because he's genuinely a nice, friendly, charming person. He just wants things to happen without any effort on his part.
#MostRecentExAnywayBecauseIHaveHadMoreExesThanMostPeopleCertainlyMoreThanMonogamousPeople
He's actually a pretty decent guy. He does a fair amount of Relationship Maintenance. Our breakup was amicable and due mostly to outside political pressures. If you have enough in common with him to like him for dating in the first place, he'll probably be a good boyfriend for you. I was recently reminded to thank him for being a good boyfriend, actually, thanks to a comparison to the most recent ex.
#2ExesAgo
Oh sweetie. Well, good luck! And here's a domestic abuse hotline, just in case. And remember, going catatonic every time you have an intense disagreement is not normal and you should not end up apologizing for bringing up your concerns over his need to control your body.
#3ExesAgo
Just remember to never date anyone else who might make him feel threatened (i.e. anyone else) and to magically divine what he wants of you, because he won't actually tell you if something about you bothers him since he's so concerned with not "making" you "change who you are" for him even if it's literally not a big deal that you wouldn't mind compromising on, but he will dump you for not having made those changes anyway.
Oh, and don't be a feminist. Things will go much more smoothly if you can only see how much shit men get for being men.
#4ExesAgo
Congratulations! He's one of the good ones. If he wasn't so damned monogamous, I'd probably try to get back with him myself.
#HighSchoolSweetheart
I hope you aren't one of those people who needs "closure". He likes ghosting. And if he does it to you and comes back to say he made a mistake, he didn't. If he did it once, he'll do it again.
#MoreThanOneExFitsThisDescription
Don't ever leave your computer or devices out where he can get them unattended. He works in IT and knows how to install keystroke logs and doesn't see anything wrong with using them. Also never tell him about any fantasies involving coercion - no "scary burglar takes advantage of the poor helpless college student" role play or whatever. He can't tell the difference between "fuck off, I said not tonight" and "oh no! There's a burglar in my house who bears a striking resemblance to my boyfriend! Whatever shall I do?!"
#IAmLosingCountOfHowManyExesAgoTheseAllAre
Cupcake, his 20-year-older, Scottish truck driving buddy who thought hanging around with a high schooler in his thirties was a great idea and who sounds suspiciously like him talking with a bad Scottish accent with the phone pulled away from his mouth while you're on the other end wondering where the fuck he is, is not real.
Neither is the extremely jealous ex-girlfriend with the body of a professional weight lifter who somehow has natural DD cups and who magically seems to find him and try to "win him back" every time you have a fight who he has to "protect" you from by never letting you meet her because she's such a badass fighter who has spent time in jail that she would kill you.
Neither is his dead ex-baby-mama from middle school (yes, she got pregnant, lost the baby, and then died of cancer all before she could legally drive) who is the most delicate little feminine doll of a girl who nobody will ever live up to because she died so she's fucking perfect.
His disapproving, old-fashioned, stay-at-home mother whom he expects his wife to emulate, however, is very real.
#MyAbusiveExFiance #ThisIsWhyWeNeedDomesticAbuseEducationBecauseNotAllAbuseIsPhysical
Actually, since he threatened to kill me and has been stalking me for most of my life, the fact that you use access to your children as a method of controlling him and keeping him near you is kinda helpful for all the other women he can't tie down because you keep cockblocking him, and also for me because he won't leave the state to come find me as long as his kids keep him there. So, I'm worried about those kids of y'alls with the both of you being such shitty people, but honestly, you're doing me a favor, so carry on.
Unless you finally wise up and just have him put in jail. I'm sure you can find some legitimate reason. And then maybe get some therapy.
#MyExStalker
