What happens if you respond with "you know the part were I said I can't process? That means I can't process, which also means I can't clearly explain myself, and the longer we keep going, the less productive I will be"? I mean, if you're having trouble thinking on the spot, that's sort of part of the problem isn't it? Since the point is that they're too emotional and becoming scary, I see no reason to try to explain something rationally to them while they're in that state. As the person who is usually in that position, it'll probably only exacerbate the problem.
I wonder if *keeping* the framing in terms of you, rather than them, might sort of derail their anger, at least long enough to get that breather? Like, if you can convince them that *you* are the one having the problem (not that you are having a problem because *they* are really the one with the problem), maybe concern for you could override, or at least tone down, the shouty anger?
I'm not sure if I'm really making any sense right now. Up past my bedtime.
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Re: So familiar :-/
Date: 6/22/13 06:20 am (UTC)From:I wonder if *keeping* the framing in terms of you, rather than them, might sort of derail their anger, at least long enough to get that breather? Like, if you can convince them that *you* are the one having the problem (not that you are having a problem because *they* are really the one with the problem), maybe concern for you could override, or at least tone down, the shouty anger?
I'm not sure if I'm really making any sense right now. Up past my bedtime.