I think space is the key here. If I am talking in my own space or on a public space, and somebody tries to tell me I shouldn't talk that way because it bothers them, I experience this as an unfair attempt at censorship and I am very likely to tell them with varying degrees of politeness that they are welcome not to participate. It's not their space to control.
If it is on their personal space, electronically or physically, then they set the rules and I am the one who gets to leave if I don't like it. And I probably will, if I feel like I have to tiptoe on eggshells to avoid hurting someone. They have every right to have and clearly communicate their triggers and stop a conversation that has become uncomfortable for them in their space. I have an equal right to stop participating in a conversation that has become uncomfortable for me.
A whole lot depending on how they do the asking for me to back off. If I perceive them as being respectful and taking responsibility for communicating their personal triggers without being controlling or judgmental, we can continue on other subjects. If not, then I'll leave their space and will probably be very wary about ever returning. If the asking is done in what I perceive to be an overtly controlling or domineering manner, or if they actually delete/censor what I wrote, chances are very, very good I will not return. Being controlled, dominated or having what I wrote deleted are actually pretty big triggers for me personally, and these things would make me uncomfortable enough to respond negatively.
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Date: 5/5/13 07:11 pm (UTC)From:If it is on their personal space, electronically or physically, then they set the rules and I am the one who gets to leave if I don't like it. And I probably will, if I feel like I have to tiptoe on eggshells to avoid hurting someone. They have every right to have and clearly communicate their triggers and stop a conversation that has become uncomfortable for them in their space. I have an equal right to stop participating in a conversation that has become uncomfortable for me.
A whole lot depending on how they do the asking for me to back off. If I perceive them as being respectful and taking responsibility for communicating their personal triggers without being controlling or judgmental, we can continue on other subjects. If not, then I'll leave their space and will probably be very wary about ever returning. If the asking is done in what I perceive to be an overtly controlling or domineering manner, or if they actually delete/censor what I wrote, chances are very, very good I will not return. Being controlled, dominated or having what I wrote deleted are actually pretty big triggers for me personally, and these things would make me uncomfortable enough to respond negatively.