I definitely agree with your assessment that some guys think it is their duty to continue pressuring a woman into sex if he sees even the slightest possibility he might get a "yes". But I also see that as being something totally different from what I'm talking about.
First of all, my own personal experience tells me that a clear and unambiguous "no" and putting someone in the "friend box" doesn't stop *those guys*. It just makes the subset of *those guys* who are The Entitled Guys whine about being put in the "friend box" while they keep trying.
Second, based on conversations with girl friends (as a girl), and at all ages, the girls who do that aren't using the "friend box" as a deterrent or a way to clearly say "no", they honestly believe that having sex with a friend will fuck up the friendship. I have, literally, had conversations where I ask women "how are you supposed to marry your best friend if you're never allowed to date your friends?" and the women/girls can't answer that. So, yes, they are trying to tell the guys no and still keep the friendship, but it's not used *as* a deterrent, like coming up with an excuse or having your sister call you while on a date so you can have an "emergency" crop up and let you escape if the date is bad. The "friend box" isn't really an excuse to get them to stop because, as I said above, it doesn't actually stop them.
There definitely needs to be better relationship education to fix all this bullshit.
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Date: 1/6/12 10:05 pm (UTC)From:First of all, my own personal experience tells me that a clear and unambiguous "no" and putting someone in the "friend box" doesn't stop *those guys*. It just makes the subset of *those guys* who are The Entitled Guys whine about being put in the "friend box" while they keep trying.
Second, based on conversations with girl friends (as a girl), and at all ages, the girls who do that aren't using the "friend box" as a deterrent or a way to clearly say "no", they honestly believe that having sex with a friend will fuck up the friendship. I have, literally, had conversations where I ask women "how are you supposed to marry your best friend if you're never allowed to date your friends?" and the women/girls can't answer that. So, yes, they are trying to tell the guys no and still keep the friendship, but it's not used *as* a deterrent, like coming up with an excuse or having your sister call you while on a date so you can have an "emergency" crop up and let you escape if the date is bad. The "friend box" isn't really an excuse to get them to stop because, as I said above, it doesn't actually stop them.
There definitely needs to be better relationship education to fix all this bullshit.