I lost my faith in the supernatural a few years ago. I realized that I was holding onto beliefs that there was a supernatural because my world had been so awful when I was young (I was ritualistically sexually abused for about a year and a half when I was 2 and 3 years old). The only way I could survive was to believe there was something else. Through intense therapy, I brought up all the demons of the abusers and realized once I confronted them, that I had completely lost my belief in the supernatural. When you have confronted internal demons as fucked up as were in my reality, supernatural bullshit demons really don't mean anything anymore.
I am still a little bit sad about losing that "magic" because there were elements that were fun, and like you said, it made me special, but I do far prefer being grounded in reality now.
Interestingly enough, I do still use Tarot cards, but more as a way to access my own subconscious. I know they don't mean anything, but it's almost like free-writing in a journal. I've had things bubble to the surface when I'm reading the cards that I don't think I could have accessed another way. So, I use them as a tool.
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Date: 12/9/11 02:48 pm (UTC)From:I am still a little bit sad about losing that "magic" because there were elements that were fun, and like you said, it made me special, but I do far prefer being grounded in reality now.
Interestingly enough, I do still use Tarot cards, but more as a way to access my own subconscious. I know they don't mean anything, but it's almost like free-writing in a journal. I've had things bubble to the surface when I'm reading the cards that I don't think I could have accessed another way. So, I use them as a tool.