Well, right, but my mother did so within the context of marriage. So, by slut-shaming standards she's off the hook. Thus the problem for slut-shaming.
And I think the men do have issues with equality. I think complaints like that tend to come from a sense that they have some sort of entitlement to sex from women. It may not be as bad as some people's sense of inequality, but I do think it speaks to inequality.
Maybe not. But it does make me wonder. It does come from a mentality of not caring as much if the other person wants to have sex. People who care about making sure the other person is interested tend to be careful about ensuring consent. When people complain that their desires won't be met if they are careful to make sure that they are making sure the other person is also interested, I wonder why they do not care about the other person.
I may be a bit biased by never having had sex with someone outside of the context of a friendship. I haven't done casual sex. Maybe there are situations where not caring about the other person's well-being is seen as normal. But I would think usually one does care about one's sexual partners, and as such it takes a pretty serious disconnect to not want to be sure they're okay with it. The most likely disconnect seems to be not viewing them as as much of a person, and the easiest way to do that in our culture is through sexism. But it could be something else.
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Date: 8/30/11 12:39 am (UTC)From:And I think the men do have issues with equality. I think complaints like that tend to come from a sense that they have some sort of entitlement to sex from women. It may not be as bad as some people's sense of inequality, but I do think it speaks to inequality.
Maybe not. But it does make me wonder. It does come from a mentality of not caring as much if the other person wants to have sex. People who care about making sure the other person is interested tend to be careful about ensuring consent. When people complain that their desires won't be met if they are careful to make sure that they are making sure the other person is also interested, I wonder why they do not care about the other person.
I may be a bit biased by never having had sex with someone outside of the context of a friendship. I haven't done casual sex. Maybe there are situations where not caring about the other person's well-being is seen as normal. But I would think usually one does care about one's sexual partners, and as such it takes a pretty serious disconnect to not want to be sure they're okay with it. The most likely disconnect seems to be not viewing them as as much of a person, and the easiest way to do that in our culture is through sexism. But it could be something else.