That's why I started out with "when in doubt, ask" and why I said, in every place "often, but not always". Also, I specifically said "public play parties", not "private-home parties". The line may be fuzzy between the two, but there is still a bit of a difference.
Plus, it has been my experience that erring on the side of higher protocol yields fewer problems than erring on the side of casualness.
If you're going to make a mistake because you're a newbie, dressing more fetish-y & observing traditional signals in a casual environment doesn't usually result in quite the same backlash as being casual in a higher protocol environment - those protocol kinksters get awfully fussy about The Right Way but the newer style of more casual kink doesn't seem to mind so much when someone is a little more formal, especially if they're still learning.
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Date: 3/30/11 05:24 pm (UTC)From:Plus, it has been my experience that erring on the side of higher protocol yields fewer problems than erring on the side of casualness.
If you're going to make a mistake because you're a newbie, dressing more fetish-y & observing traditional signals in a casual environment doesn't usually result in quite the same backlash as being casual in a higher protocol environment - those protocol kinksters get awfully fussy about The Right Way but the newer style of more casual kink doesn't seem to mind so much when someone is a little more formal, especially if they're still learning.