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Just A Tip
Jan. 11th, 2012 09:13 pmI'm a big fan of sarcasm. It's one of my most favorite forms of humor. I've had entire conversations that were nothing but sarcasm from start to finish. One of my most favorite ways to mock idiots and losers is to sarcastically and/or ironically make statements that are favorable to their position. This can be in any subject - creationism, homophobia, sex-negativity, woo, politics, whatever. If I think a position is stupid, I will probably, at some point or another, make a sarcastic or ironic statement for comedic value proclaiming the benefits of that position. I like to think it's obvious from the absurdity of the statement that I was being sarcastic or ironic, but being on the listening side of sarcasm, I completely get that not everyone can always tell sarcasm from genuine statements.
In text, it's even harder. Online, where people do not use their real names, where I may not have had any interactions with them before (or have but don't recognize their username), and where it seems as though the internet is actually powered solely by stupidity, it's almost impossible to NOT mistake sarcasm. And on Twitter or Facebook, where the response text is severely limited in size, you're just asking to be misunderstood.
Once,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tacit, emanix and I were in the car together, and we somehow managed to circle around a faux-argument and, using sarcasm, reach the conclusion that tacit must be gay. I don't remember the exact line, but it involved the worst of the misunderstandings of homosexuality, polyamory, kink, and rape, all wrapped up in one snarky line. We found it funny precisely because it was the opposite of everything we all stood for. Some of tacit's Twitter followers found it offensive because they couldn't hear the sarcasm when he tweeted the punchline without the context. He thought it was sufficiently absurd enough that no one would possibly be able to mistake it for anything other than sarcasm. Except anyone who doesn't know him and his sense of humor, of course.
So here is a circumstance when you absolutely should not use sarcasm as a response UNLESS you have a clear sarcasm-indicator, such as ending your post with /sarcasm or the more blatant "that was sarcasm, for those who couldn't tell". And even then, you probably shouldn't do it. For the record, "derp" and the percontation point "؟" are not universally understood (as much as I try to promote it), so, although you can use those as indicators, I recommend including an explanation of what "derp" and "؟" mean somewhere in the comment. Yes, explaining the joke makes it less funny. It also makes it less offensive, and therefore worth it.
But when a person is upset, is ranting, is particularly emotional over a particular topic, or feels really really strongly about something, that is NOT the time or the place for your bad-taste joke. It may be the time and place for your sarcasm, if the intent of the sarcasm is actually to create a sense of solidarity by showing your agreement with the subject (sarcasm & irony are often used to point out the absurdity of a position, so using sarcasm can be a form of agreement in some contexts), but you have to be clear that you are, in fact, being sarcastic. When a person is in that emotional state, and when the place is online, it is not always easy to identify sarcasm and irony, especially if you are not already well-known to the readers of your comment, so your statement may actually just piss someone off more.
Also, there is nothing wrong with having an emotional reaction to a topic, per se. Having an emotional reaction does not mean that the person is not ALSO being logical or rational. Do not dismiss someone's point just because he or she is being emotional. Making a joke at a time like that is, in fact, being dismissive. For many of these topics, being upset or angry is the appropriate response. If you can look at bigotry, hatred, discrimination, and the pain and suffering of others without getting upset over it, there's something seriously wrong with you, not the person being emotional. Yes, there are appropriate uses and times for emotional reactions and inappropriate ones, but that's a subject for another post. The point here is that being emotional does not automatically and by default mean that someone is wrong and/or needs to be calmed down, especially if your method of diffusing things is with a bad-taste joke or hard-to-identify sarcasm. Sometimes, anger and emotional upset is exactly what is needed and the joke is out of place.
In text, it's even harder. Online, where people do not use their real names, where I may not have had any interactions with them before (or have but don't recognize their username), and where it seems as though the internet is actually powered solely by stupidity, it's almost impossible to NOT mistake sarcasm. And on Twitter or Facebook, where the response text is severely limited in size, you're just asking to be misunderstood.
Once,
tacit, emanix and I were in the car together, and we somehow managed to circle around a faux-argument and, using sarcasm, reach the conclusion that tacit must be gay. I don't remember the exact line, but it involved the worst of the misunderstandings of homosexuality, polyamory, kink, and rape, all wrapped up in one snarky line. We found it funny precisely because it was the opposite of everything we all stood for. Some of tacit's Twitter followers found it offensive because they couldn't hear the sarcasm when he tweeted the punchline without the context. He thought it was sufficiently absurd enough that no one would possibly be able to mistake it for anything other than sarcasm. Except anyone who doesn't know him and his sense of humor, of course.So here is a circumstance when you absolutely should not use sarcasm as a response UNLESS you have a clear sarcasm-indicator, such as ending your post with /sarcasm or the more blatant "that was sarcasm, for those who couldn't tell". And even then, you probably shouldn't do it. For the record, "derp" and the percontation point "؟" are not universally understood (as much as I try to promote it), so, although you can use those as indicators, I recommend including an explanation of what "derp" and "؟" mean somewhere in the comment. Yes, explaining the joke makes it less funny. It also makes it less offensive, and therefore worth it.
When someone is ranting about a particular topic, such as sexism, racism, bigotry in general, or other emotional hot-button topics, don't respond with sarcasm that could possibly be misconstrued as genuine.For example:
Even worse are those jokes that may not easily be classified as sarcastic. It's supposed to be a joke. But if the person ranting has her ire up, now is not the time to be poking fun at the topic she is particularly emotional about right now.
- when I say "don't compliment me on my appearance, this seriously bugs me", don't follow that up with "hey baby, ur hot!" as a joke. Not only is it not funny, I'm probably going to get more pissed off at that moment than if you said that out of the blue because I just finished saying how much I don't like that. Kind of like when Rebecca Watson had just finished speaking for 8 FUCKING HOURS about how she hates getting hit on at skeptic conventions, only to be asked back to some guy's room for coffee within minutes of her latest tirade and announcement that she was tired and wanted to go to sleep.
Bad fucking timing. Don't do it. Don't defend it, don't excuse it, just don't fucking do it. - Also, when I rant about how our society views the worth of females almost exclusively on their appearance and/or sexuality after posting a link to a female politician that I support, don't respond with "I like her, plus she's hot!" and expect me to find that funny. It's totally out of place and I'm already hypersensitive because I just finished ranting about that very subject.
- Also, when I respond to a post that is bigoted and uninformed about a type of sexuality (in this case, kink), don't then post a joke saying that HIV is a magic trick that turns fruits into vegetables. IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY. It's not funny at any time, but it's especially in poor taste when one is trying to raise awareness about stereotypes and bigotry. Also, being gay doesn't give you a free pass from making fucked-up gay jokes. Just like being female doesn't give you a free pass from being sexist or misogynistic and being black doesn't give you a free pass to be racist. Just sayin'.
But when a person is upset, is ranting, is particularly emotional over a particular topic, or feels really really strongly about something, that is NOT the time or the place for your bad-taste joke. It may be the time and place for your sarcasm, if the intent of the sarcasm is actually to create a sense of solidarity by showing your agreement with the subject (sarcasm & irony are often used to point out the absurdity of a position, so using sarcasm can be a form of agreement in some contexts), but you have to be clear that you are, in fact, being sarcastic. When a person is in that emotional state, and when the place is online, it is not always easy to identify sarcasm and irony, especially if you are not already well-known to the readers of your comment, so your statement may actually just piss someone off more.
Also, there is nothing wrong with having an emotional reaction to a topic, per se. Having an emotional reaction does not mean that the person is not ALSO being logical or rational. Do not dismiss someone's point just because he or she is being emotional. Making a joke at a time like that is, in fact, being dismissive. For many of these topics, being upset or angry is the appropriate response. If you can look at bigotry, hatred, discrimination, and the pain and suffering of others without getting upset over it, there's something seriously wrong with you, not the person being emotional. Yes, there are appropriate uses and times for emotional reactions and inappropriate ones, but that's a subject for another post. The point here is that being emotional does not automatically and by default mean that someone is wrong and/or needs to be calmed down, especially if your method of diffusing things is with a bad-taste joke or hard-to-identify sarcasm. Sometimes, anger and emotional upset is exactly what is needed and the joke is out of place.
