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Fun With YouTube
Jun. 12th, 2010 12:14 amDan Savage, who as some of you may know, is a sex/romance advice columnist who happens to be gay. Often, I like his stuff - he's brutal and not afraid to pull his punches, and he's often correct. But on some things, he's not just wrong, he's HORRIBLY wrong. And he happens to be anti-poly. Oh, he pulls the "I'm not against polys, some of my friends are polys", which, if you change the word "poly" and replace it with a minority race of your choice, comes out sounding racist in the "methinks he doth protest too much" sense.
So, there is a clip of him on YouTube, where they caught him saying that polyamory, basically, is a bad idea because he, personally, has never met any poly family that has made it to their 3rd anniversary (oh, but he has friends who are poly, so he it's not like he has anything *against* them!). Naturally, I had to chime in and correct his fallacies, and, of course, I couldn't resist responding to some of the more obviously obtuse (which I should have resisted).
Like the one guy who adamantly proclaimed that it's not "polyAmorous", it's "polymerous" (pronounced pol-LEE-mer-us). Seriously. And he didn't like being corrected at all. He yelled at us to look it up in the dictionary. Anyone who's even remotely familiar with polyamory knows by know that it was, in fact, added to the Oxford Dictionary a couple of years back, and they specifically used Morning Glory's definition - going so far as to have her write the definition for them, as well as an explanation of how it came about and what it was intended to mean. I'm still waiting to see how this idiot responds to this answer.
And then there's this guy... axon888 is one of many who like to make sweeping statements about how all poly people are X, usually something bad, and usually because he happened to meet a particular asshole who called himself polyamorous. Here's the exchange, with his grammar, spelling, and punctuation in tact:
axon888: ive known people who are poly and read about them - they dont do drugs, they are almost always vegan, atheists, and mostly anarchists. but they are hooked on a drug, and its called dopamine. thats why their relationships dont last - serial polyamory/
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 Not vegan, not hooked on dopamine, and my relationships have lasted. How about I try insulting you by saying "I've known people who are monogamous & read about them - they smoke, drink, eat meat, are overly religious, and are so terribly insecure they have to hold onto their partners even when they're not happy because they think there won't be anything else out there".
To generalize like that based on personal experience & not stats is just as wrong & insulting as when you did it.
axon888: @JorethInnkeeper it doesn't bother me because your statement is true, generally speaking. As far as I am concerned, people are psychotic on both sides.
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 Then address only the psychotics and do not generalize the rest of us into the same category.
axon888: @JorethInnkeeper quit trying to control my thinking. the way you are responding to comments here is emotionally abusive.
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 If this is what you think abusive is, you're in for some harsh realities if you continue to use the internet. I can show you abusive if you'd like, but if you notice, I used no cussing, no name calling, and no shouting. What I did was to ask you to stop insulting ME and others like me. Asking to not be insulted is not abusive, and calling it so is disrespectful of everyone who has ever been legitimately abused. Grow up.
axon888: @JorethInnkeeper so, what you are saying is that you are not at least one of the following: atheist, vegan, or anarchist? and that emotionally abusing people necessitates swearing, name calling or shouting? all you do on this thread is look for places to make yourself feel superior to others. you don't convince anyone poly is good, you convince people poly are assholes.
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 If you had better reading comprehension, you would see I already answered that question. If you wanted statistics, the vast majority of poly people are actually pagan, not atheist. I was raised Catholic, and we have quite an active poly-Christian community here.
Emotional abuse is a serious condition that many people suffer from daily, and it does not include requesting that someone who thinks it's acceptable to stereotype and insult people stop behaving poorly.
axon888: (in an email, no longer in the comments) i am not wanting to compete ideas with you. i'm not fighting with you on threads, but i see how it looks that way.
don't live your life as a contrary for what was, otherwise what was still defines you,
JorethInnkeeper: I think perhaps you don't have a good control of the English language, if your last statement is any example, and if you confuse something as serious and as harmful as emotional abuse with a contradictory opinion on the internet. With a handicap like that, I can see why you would not wish to compete.
So, there is a clip of him on YouTube, where they caught him saying that polyamory, basically, is a bad idea because he, personally, has never met any poly family that has made it to their 3rd anniversary (oh, but he has friends who are poly, so he it's not like he has anything *against* them!). Naturally, I had to chime in and correct his fallacies, and, of course, I couldn't resist responding to some of the more obviously obtuse (which I should have resisted).
Like the one guy who adamantly proclaimed that it's not "polyAmorous", it's "polymerous" (pronounced pol-LEE-mer-us). Seriously. And he didn't like being corrected at all. He yelled at us to look it up in the dictionary. Anyone who's even remotely familiar with polyamory knows by know that it was, in fact, added to the Oxford Dictionary a couple of years back, and they specifically used Morning Glory's definition - going so far as to have her write the definition for them, as well as an explanation of how it came about and what it was intended to mean. I'm still waiting to see how this idiot responds to this answer.
And then there's this guy... axon888 is one of many who like to make sweeping statements about how all poly people are X, usually something bad, and usually because he happened to meet a particular asshole who called himself polyamorous. Here's the exchange, with his grammar, spelling, and punctuation in tact:
axon888: ive known people who are poly and read about them - they dont do drugs, they are almost always vegan, atheists, and mostly anarchists. but they are hooked on a drug, and its called dopamine. thats why their relationships dont last - serial polyamory/
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 Not vegan, not hooked on dopamine, and my relationships have lasted. How about I try insulting you by saying "I've known people who are monogamous & read about them - they smoke, drink, eat meat, are overly religious, and are so terribly insecure they have to hold onto their partners even when they're not happy because they think there won't be anything else out there".
To generalize like that based on personal experience & not stats is just as wrong & insulting as when you did it.
axon888: @JorethInnkeeper it doesn't bother me because your statement is true, generally speaking. As far as I am concerned, people are psychotic on both sides.
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 Then address only the psychotics and do not generalize the rest of us into the same category.
axon888: @JorethInnkeeper quit trying to control my thinking. the way you are responding to comments here is emotionally abusive.
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 If this is what you think abusive is, you're in for some harsh realities if you continue to use the internet. I can show you abusive if you'd like, but if you notice, I used no cussing, no name calling, and no shouting. What I did was to ask you to stop insulting ME and others like me. Asking to not be insulted is not abusive, and calling it so is disrespectful of everyone who has ever been legitimately abused. Grow up.
axon888: @JorethInnkeeper so, what you are saying is that you are not at least one of the following: atheist, vegan, or anarchist? and that emotionally abusing people necessitates swearing, name calling or shouting? all you do on this thread is look for places to make yourself feel superior to others. you don't convince anyone poly is good, you convince people poly are assholes.
JorethInnkeeper: @axon888 If you had better reading comprehension, you would see I already answered that question. If you wanted statistics, the vast majority of poly people are actually pagan, not atheist. I was raised Catholic, and we have quite an active poly-Christian community here.
Emotional abuse is a serious condition that many people suffer from daily, and it does not include requesting that someone who thinks it's acceptable to stereotype and insult people stop behaving poorly.
axon888: (in an email, no longer in the comments) i am not wanting to compete ideas with you. i'm not fighting with you on threads, but i see how it looks that way.
don't live your life as a contrary for what was, otherwise what was still defines you,
JorethInnkeeper: I think perhaps you don't have a good control of the English language, if your last statement is any example, and if you confuse something as serious and as harmful as emotional abuse with a contradictory opinion on the internet. With a handicap like that, I can see why you would not wish to compete.
