... well, I think I had - someone referenced his coming out blog entry, but it wasn't at the time he wrote it, it was actually not long ago at all but before the news of his divorce.
One of the things I wasn't able to get across is that I know nothing of Steve Pavlina or his experiments with polyamory other than his coming out article and his divorce announcement article, so he really *could* have been way out of line. It's just that my online opponent was not clear at all in where he placed the blame, but to pretty much everyone who read it and responded on Twitter, it *sounded* an awful lot like he was blaming the act of having multiple partners, not the act of being an asshole while having multiple partners :-)
His divorce announcement sounds very nice, actually. He claims that trying polyamory allowed he and his wife to more quickly recognize that they weren't happy and he says that he thinks they're both better off for it and happier because of it.
I think people put as much pressure on a breakup as they do on their monogamous relationships themselves. Breakups are not inherently a bad thing and ending a relationship does not have to mean it failed. Transitions are tough, but this is not necessarily something to feel bummed about and this breakup may be exactly what it takes to "work out for them" :-) (see that? A smile! I'm not trying to be mean or argumentative! LOL)
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Date: 10/29/09 03:21 pm (UTC)From:I hadn't actually heard of heard of him before.
... well, I think I had - someone referenced his coming out blog entry, but it wasn't at the time he wrote it, it was actually not long ago at all but before the news of his divorce.
One of the things I wasn't able to get across is that I know nothing of Steve Pavlina or his experiments with polyamory other than his coming out article and his divorce announcement article, so he really *could* have been way out of line. It's just that my online opponent was not clear at all in where he placed the blame, but to pretty much everyone who read it and responded on Twitter, it *sounded* an awful lot like he was blaming the act of having multiple partners, not the act of being an asshole while having multiple partners :-)
His divorce announcement sounds very nice, actually. He claims that trying polyamory allowed he and his wife to more quickly recognize that they weren't happy and he says that he thinks they're both better off for it and happier because of it.
I think people put as much pressure on a breakup as they do on their monogamous relationships themselves. Breakups are not inherently a bad thing and ending a relationship does not have to mean it failed. Transitions are tough, but this is not necessarily something to feel bummed about and this breakup may be exactly what it takes to "work out for them" :-) (see that? A smile! I'm not trying to be mean or argumentative! LOL)