of course those who respect you will give you sharper criticism. Those who respect you will assume you are strong and won't be as careful about your feelings
That's it exactly!
And yes, you are correct, it's not binary, and the politeness to strangers and people I don't like is still a level of "respect", it's just my lowest level of respect that I think all humans deserve. I have some ex partners who are really contemptible in their treatment of me and of people in general, yet I maintain my promises to them of privacy and confidence in things they have told me about themselves when we still trusted each other.
In my favorite dancing show, the judges do the same thing. Usually they remember that the contestants are all amateurs and they judge them accordingly. But every season there is usually at least one contestant who is so good that it becomes difficult to tell who is the pro and who is the contestant. And when that happens, the judges start nitpicking. Of course the audience boos and jeers, but the judges have repeatedly said that they give the criticism because they think the contestants are good enough to deserve the harsher criticism, which will make them better dancers in the end because it's the tiny little details that they can work on and improve for next time.
One of my all-time favorite celebrity dancer, who had really no formal dance training prior to the show, has since gone on to star in Broadway musicals as a direct result of his performance on the show.
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Date: 7/22/09 09:28 pm (UTC)From:That's it exactly!
And yes, you are correct, it's not binary, and the politeness to strangers and people I don't like is still a level of "respect", it's just my lowest level of respect that I think all humans deserve. I have some ex partners who are really contemptible in their treatment of me and of people in general, yet I maintain my promises to them of privacy and confidence in things they have told me about themselves when we still trusted each other.
In my favorite dancing show, the judges do the same thing. Usually they remember that the contestants are all amateurs and they judge them accordingly. But every season there is usually at least one contestant who is so good that it becomes difficult to tell who is the pro and who is the contestant. And when that happens, the judges start nitpicking. Of course the audience boos and jeers, but the judges have repeatedly said that they give the criticism because they think the contestants are good enough to deserve the harsher criticism, which will make them better dancers in the end because it's the tiny little details that they can work on and improve for next time.
One of my all-time favorite celebrity dancer, who had really no formal dance training prior to the show, has since gone on to star in Broadway musicals as a direct result of his performance on the show.