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Email To Shock Jocks
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/03/minx-vs-talk-jocks.html
Minx vs. talk jocks
Q101 radio (Chicago)
Thanks to the Chicago Sun-Times article day before yesterday, Cunning Minx, who produces the wonderful Polyamory Weekly podcast out of Chicago, got a few minutes this morning to explain poly on a local radio station. She held her own against a couple of morning DJs who can't believe that male bisexuality exists (though gal-on-gal is hot). Listen here, and educate the idiot jocks here.
So here's my email to these DJs:
I just listened to the bit of your show that had Cunning Minx from Polyamory Weekly. And I have to say I was incredibly disappointed in what could have been a good blurb about polyamory. The DJs seemed to be relatively open-minded and tolerant of the idea of polyamory, at the very least not inserting their own personal judgements but just letting the description and Minx speak for what it is without imposing moral values. But then they had to go and open their mouths about male bisexuality.
I have news for you fellas ... it does exist and it is incredibly sexist and offensive to hear anyone make comments that imply female bisexuality exists and is welcome when male bisexuality is not only not welcome but shouldn't even be allowed at all. You don't have to like it, you don't have to do it, but if it is possible for women to like both genders without giving them the incredibly stupid and naive ultimatum of "at least plant your flag in somebody", then men must have that same freedom.
I happen to be a straight female and I am not into hot girl-on-girl action. I don't care that you are, but it doesn't do anything for me. But male bisexuality is a huge turn on for me. And it is the attitude of these DJs that makes it so dangerous for people to be who they are. It is absolutely inexcusable to encourage women to display their sexuality for the enjoyment of men while at the same time discriminating against men for expressing the exact same sexuality just because you, personally, don't get off on it. This kind of attitude is what allows our society to turn the other way while men are beaten and killed for consensual sexual enjoyment. The gay community is notoriously intolerant of bisexuality in both males and females, but that is no reason to justify the intolerance from heterosexuals. The fact that many gay men don't like bi men either does not absolve you of discrimination, it merely includes them in your discrimination.
Also, as Minx said, Polyamory is absolutely legal. There are local adultery laws to consider, but the act of engaging in multiple romantic relationships is completely legal, especially now that the sodomy laws have been repealed at the federal level and especially considering that many of us do not marry for exactly this reason (and other reasons).
I thought the tone of your little blurb at the beginning was acceptable, until Minx happened to hit upon the DJs' personal prejudices and that completely destroyed any enjoyment I might have taken at this bit. While this bit could have brought huge amounts of positive PR from the poly community, it will now receive negative PR from both the poly and the GLBTQ communities who do not appreciate the message of intolerance and prejudice. But since I am not local to your area and do not listen to your show regularly, I don't know, maybe your show is all about the shock jocks and "equal opportunity offender" content.
Sincerely,
"Joreth"
http://www.theinnbetween.net/poly1.html
But wait ... there's more!
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth@techie.com
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
> Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:19:16 -0500
>
>
> I appreciate you listening, and differing opinions are always welcome, (although you
> clearly don't feel reciprocal in that regard). I would discourage anyone from co-opting
> anyone's disenchantment. I'm confused as to why a straight woman would feel compelled
> to speak for gay men. Thanks, though.
>
> AC
>
>
> Alan Cox
> Host-The Morning Fix
> Q101.1 Chicago
> 312.245.8167
> www.q101.com
>
I feel compelled to speak up for all civil liberties, and that includes standing up for the rights of people who belong to sub-cultures that I do not necessarily belong to personally. No one is free unless everyone is free. If you are referring to the part where I mention that the GLBTQ community often discriminates against bi-men, just because I, personally, do not feel that discrimination, doesn't mean I don't see it happening, since I happen to be fairly active in that community as a supporter of gay rights.
I am not opposed to you personally disliking male bisexual activities. I am opposed to your reaction that allows female bisexual activities as valid and male bisexual activities as invalid and even non-existent. That attitude is what allows discrimination to happen. That's what allows women to sexually harass men and get away with it while men are ruthlessly persecuted for a very broad definition of sexual harassment of women. That's what allows men to be beaten in the streets and the assailants to get off with only community service. You do not have to enjoy participating or watching male bisexual activity. But your dismissive attitude towards it, particularly while contrasted with your very enthusiastic acceptance of female bisexual activity, is not merely a difference of opinion (which is acceptable), it is the underlying motivation for discrimination and that is unacceptable.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
> Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:46:44 -0500
>
>
> Don't misunderstand me- I have no problem with anyone's lifestyle. My co-host was much
> more adamant in his opinion. However, it's important to take a radio SHOW w a grain of
> salt. We're there to entertain people, not speak for them or their interests. We leave
> that to guests like Minx. NO group is so special that they are above parody or scrutiny.
>
> Alan Cox
> Host-The Morning Fix
> Q101.1 Chicago
> 312.245.8167
> www.q101.com
It's not about parody, it's about discrimination and misinformation. I don't know which one said what, but the overall attitude was discriminatory. You did not let your guests "speak for themselves" about this topic, you (or your co-host) explicitly stated that male bisexuality didn't and shouldn't exist but that female bisexuality was condoned. That is sexist and discriminatory behaviour and it is pervasive throughout our entire society so when people like you have a broad reach into the public, such as through your radio show, your opinions get heard and when they are negative like this, they reinforce the negative attitudes of the public which allows much more serious things to happen then just a little teasing of gay sex.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
> Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:02:18 -0500
>
>
> To have an opinion that differs from yours doesn't equal discrimination. At no point
> did we imply that bisexual men weren't equal, simply that that wouldn't turn us on. If
> it makes you feel any better, we'll be talking about this again tomorrow. More
> specifically, we'll be discussing the email we got from gay male and female listeners
> who AGREE with us on the subject of bisexuality.
>
> See? They CAN speak for themselves.
>
> AC
>
> Alan Cox
> Host-The Morning Fix
> Q101.1 Chicago
> 312.245.8167
> www.q101.com
Perhaps you didn't read my initial email fully, as I already stated that the gay community was notorious for discrimination against bisexuality and that did not excuse you from the same behaviour. Nor did I ever say anyone couldn't speak for themselves. I add my voice to those who are discriminated against, and in this case, it's to the bisexual male who faces discrimination while bisexual females are embraced from both the gay and heterosexual communities.
You did not simply say that it wouldn't turn you on. You (collectively) said, and I quote: "I don't buy that. And neither do gay guys, by the way. Gay guys make fun of guys who are bisexual. Yeah, they're at least like 'plant your flag in somebody'. Make up your mind, you can't go both ways." Right on the heels of the comment about how each member of a couple could have a couple of women on the side was cool. This is discrimination. You didn't say "nah, that doesn't do it for me, I like hot girl on girl action". You (one of you) said "Make up your mind, you can't go both ways" referring ONLY to male bisexuality. This is not a personal preference of what you personally like, this is an admonishment that other people should not participate in a particular activity or claim a particular identity based on what you, personally, enjoy.
I will not be listening to your show again. While that probably doesn't bother you, since I'm only one listener and hadn't ever listened before, I have no interest in listening to sexist DJs who can't make entertainment without using shock tactics and inflammatory statements. Luckily for you, there are plenty of people out there who do enjoy that form of entertainment.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
Well, that's a bummer. Shame that someone would make their judgment
based on one segment from one show, but cool.
(Although, I did enjoy "shock tactics". That gave me a chuckle.)
Cheers,
AC
Alan Cox
Host/ The Morning Fix
WKQX/ Chicago (Q101.1)
230 Merchandise Mart Plaza
Chicago, IL 60654
312.245.8167
streaming live at www.q101.com
I just listened to the bit of your show that had Cunning Minx from Polyamory Weekly. And I have to say I was incredibly disappointed in what could have been a good blurb about polyamory. The DJs seemed to be relatively open-minded and tolerant of the idea of polyamory, at the very least not inserting their own personal judgements but just letting the description and Minx speak for what it is without imposing moral values. But then they had to go and open their mouths about male bisexuality.
I have news for you fellas ... it does exist and it is incredibly sexist and offensive to hear anyone make comments that imply female bisexuality exists and is welcome when male bisexuality is not only not welcome but shouldn't even be allowed at all. You don't have to like it, you don't have to do it, but if it is possible for women to like both genders without giving them the incredibly stupid and naive ultimatum of "at least plant your flag in somebody", then men must have that same freedom.
I happen to be a straight female and I am not into hot girl-on-girl action. I don't care that you are, but it doesn't do anything for me. But male bisexuality is a huge turn on for me. And it is the attitude of these DJs that makes it so dangerous for people to be who they are. It is absolutely inexcusable to encourage women to display their sexuality for the enjoyment of men while at the same time discriminating against men for expressing the exact same sexuality just because you, personally, don't get off on it. This kind of attitude is what allows our society to turn the other way while men are beaten and killed for consensual sexual enjoyment. The gay community is notoriously intolerant of bisexuality in both males and females, but that is no reason to justify the intolerance from heterosexuals. The fact that many gay men don't like bi men either does not absolve you of discrimination, it merely includes them in your discrimination.
Also, as Minx said, Polyamory is absolutely legal. There are local adultery laws to consider, but the act of engaging in multiple romantic relationships is completely legal, especially now that the sodomy laws have been repealed at the federal level and especially considering that many of us do not marry for exactly this reason (and other reasons).
I thought the tone of your little blurb at the beginning was acceptable, until Minx happened to hit upon the DJs' personal prejudices and that completely destroyed any enjoyment I might have taken at this bit. While this bit could have brought huge amounts of positive PR from the poly community, it will now receive negative PR from both the poly and the GLBTQ communities who do not appreciate the message of intolerance and prejudice. But since I am not local to your area and do not listen to your show regularly, I don't know, maybe your show is all about the shock jocks and "equal opportunity offender" content.
Sincerely,
"Joreth"
http://www.theinnbetween.net/poly1.html
But wait ... there's more!
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth@techie.com
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
> Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:19:16 -0500
>
>
> I appreciate you listening, and differing opinions are always welcome, (although you
> clearly don't feel reciprocal in that regard). I would discourage anyone from co-opting
> anyone's disenchantment. I'm confused as to why a straight woman would feel compelled
> to speak for gay men. Thanks, though.
>
> AC
>
>
> Alan Cox
> Host-The Morning Fix
> Q101.1 Chicago
> 312.245.8167
> www.q101.com
>
I feel compelled to speak up for all civil liberties, and that includes standing up for the rights of people who belong to sub-cultures that I do not necessarily belong to personally. No one is free unless everyone is free. If you are referring to the part where I mention that the GLBTQ community often discriminates against bi-men, just because I, personally, do not feel that discrimination, doesn't mean I don't see it happening, since I happen to be fairly active in that community as a supporter of gay rights.
I am not opposed to you personally disliking male bisexual activities. I am opposed to your reaction that allows female bisexual activities as valid and male bisexual activities as invalid and even non-existent. That attitude is what allows discrimination to happen. That's what allows women to sexually harass men and get away with it while men are ruthlessly persecuted for a very broad definition of sexual harassment of women. That's what allows men to be beaten in the streets and the assailants to get off with only community service. You do not have to enjoy participating or watching male bisexual activity. But your dismissive attitude towards it, particularly while contrasted with your very enthusiastic acceptance of female bisexual activity, is not merely a difference of opinion (which is acceptable), it is the underlying motivation for discrimination and that is unacceptable.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
> Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:46:44 -0500
>
>
> Don't misunderstand me- I have no problem with anyone's lifestyle. My co-host was much
> more adamant in his opinion. However, it's important to take a radio SHOW w a grain of
> salt. We're there to entertain people, not speak for them or their interests. We leave
> that to guests like Minx. NO group is so special that they are above parody or scrutiny.
>
> Alan Cox
> Host-The Morning Fix
> Q101.1 Chicago
> 312.245.8167
> www.q101.com
It's not about parody, it's about discrimination and misinformation. I don't know which one said what, but the overall attitude was discriminatory. You did not let your guests "speak for themselves" about this topic, you (or your co-host) explicitly stated that male bisexuality didn't and shouldn't exist but that female bisexuality was condoned. That is sexist and discriminatory behaviour and it is pervasive throughout our entire society so when people like you have a broad reach into the public, such as through your radio show, your opinions get heard and when they are negative like this, they reinforce the negative attitudes of the public which allows much more serious things to happen then just a little teasing of gay sex.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
> Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:02:18 -0500
>
>
> To have an opinion that differs from yours doesn't equal discrimination. At no point
> did we imply that bisexual men weren't equal, simply that that wouldn't turn us on. If
> it makes you feel any better, we'll be talking about this again tomorrow. More
> specifically, we'll be discussing the email we got from gay male and female listeners
> who AGREE with us on the subject of bisexuality.
>
> See? They CAN speak for themselves.
>
> AC
>
> Alan Cox
> Host-The Morning Fix
> Q101.1 Chicago
> 312.245.8167
> www.q101.com
Perhaps you didn't read my initial email fully, as I already stated that the gay community was notorious for discrimination against bisexuality and that did not excuse you from the same behaviour. Nor did I ever say anyone couldn't speak for themselves. I add my voice to those who are discriminated against, and in this case, it's to the bisexual male who faces discrimination while bisexual females are embraced from both the gay and heterosexual communities.
You did not simply say that it wouldn't turn you on. You (collectively) said, and I quote: "I don't buy that. And neither do gay guys, by the way. Gay guys make fun of guys who are bisexual. Yeah, they're at least like 'plant your flag in somebody'. Make up your mind, you can't go both ways." Right on the heels of the comment about how each member of a couple could have a couple of women on the side was cool. This is discrimination. You didn't say "nah, that doesn't do it for me, I like hot girl on girl action". You (one of you) said "Make up your mind, you can't go both ways" referring ONLY to male bisexuality. This is not a personal preference of what you personally like, this is an admonishment that other people should not participate in a particular activity or claim a particular identity based on what you, personally, enjoy.
I will not be listening to your show again. While that probably doesn't bother you, since I'm only one listener and hadn't ever listened before, I have no interest in listening to sexist DJs who can't make entertainment without using shock tactics and inflammatory statements. Luckily for you, there are plenty of people out there who do enjoy that form of entertainment.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Alan Cox" <acox@Q101.com>
> To: joreth
> Subject: RE: Cunning Minx Show
Well, that's a bummer. Shame that someone would make their judgment
based on one segment from one show, but cool.
(Although, I did enjoy "shock tactics". That gave me a chuckle.)
Cheers,
AC
Alan Cox
Host/ The Morning Fix
WKQX/ Chicago (Q101.1)
230 Merchandise Mart Plaza
Chicago, IL 60654
312.245.8167
streaming live at www.q101.com
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