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9 Words Women Use
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means Something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of Nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say 'you're welcome'. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying ____ YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true
This is an email that a cousin-by-marriage emailed to me and about 15 other female family members. This is supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be a lighthearted joke.
But I'm having trouble taking it as such. Becuase the reason it's considered funny is because it's widely accepted to be true.
And I find that disturbing.
When people read this email, they will laugh and nod their heads and go about their lives acting precisely in this manner. I think it's a sad state of society when clearly unfair, biased, sexist behaviour is looked at, acknowledged, laughed at, and accepted. We encourage absolutely deplorable behaviour under the guise of "gender roles", as if people can't help acting horribly to each other because our genitals make us do it.
These 9 words that women supposedly use (and I've heard it plenty from men too) are examples of how we do not communicate with the people we claim to love, people who are supposed to be "soulmates" and "better halves" and our life partners, blah blah blah. I'm not talking about people who use sarcasm as humor, I'm talking about passive-aggressive behaviour where one person is emotionally upset over something their partner does and uses sarcasm as a method of hurting the other person in retaliation, or prefers to sulk rather than have an honest discussion about how the two people in question are just not seeing eye-to-eye, or even how one person fears the reaction of another and chooses not to say anything at all. I whole-heartedly believe that I cannot reasonably expect to get what I want if I do not ask for what I want. So here are my uses of these words:
1) Fine: This is the word I use to end an argument because I am OK with the solution or conclusion.
2) Five Minutes: This amount of time exists in our current space-time continuum as 5 minutes regardless of the activity this statement is attached to. If I need to build in a cushion or I am unsure about the length, I will say so explicitly. If I state "5 minutes" and I go over the stated time limit, I apologize.
3) Nothing: This is the calm. Period. This means "nothing" and you can relax, confident that "nothing" really is forthcoming. Arguments that begin with "nothing" ... no, wait, arguments do not follow "nothing" because there is "nothing" to argue about.
4) Go Ahead: This is permission, not a dare. Do it.
5) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word. It is a non-verbal statement, but it can mean many different things, usually exasperation from a wide variety of subjects, and it's precise meaning will immediately follow verbally so there is less chance of misunderstanding that could then prolong whatever it is I'm exasperated about.
6) That's Okay: This is one of the safest statements I can make because it means, exactly and only, that something is, get this, OK.
7) Thanks: Since I say this often and I mean it when I say it, there should be no fainting or questioning. It's only courtesy to thank someone for their time or effort. "Thanks A Lot" is only sarcastic in a joking sense and obviously sarcastic by the tone of voice. It's never used as a jibe in an argument.
8) Whatever: this is not my way of saying "fuck you" because I will say "fuck you" when I mean "fuck you". "Whatever" is usually the first part of a sentence, not a retort.
9) Don't worry about it, I got it: another non-dangerous statement that means exactly what it says.
So, here's a thought - how about we TALK to our partners and spouses about what's going on in our minds and how we feel about things?
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I rather despise those sorts of gender-based "humor" (*shudder*) and generally chew folks out for littering my inbox with them.
I'm inclined to "borrow" your responses now, tho. ;>
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I, for instance, have a bad back. So I have poor posture that results in me slouching and crossing my arms. This is interpreted in all kinds of negative ways. So I'm often asked if everything is OK. Yes, if it weren't, I'd tell you.
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If a family member sent this to me, I would be ever so pissed.
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Sheesh.
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Fine: I frequently say "it's fine" when I mean "I'm upset but I really don't want you to pursue it because it will mess up whatever is going on and that would make me more upset than I am now." This is something I'm trying to learn not to do. I get really scared of disrupting things with my feelings and I'm very susceptible to doing this especially in public.
Five minutes: five minutes. Most of the people I know take much longer than I do to get ready to leave the house. But I say 30 if I mean 30.
Nothing: I'm bad about that too. Again with the worry about forcing my feelings on other people. I generally need to be prodded a couple of times before I feel like it's okay to say what's wrong.
Go ahead: Go ahead, no problem.
Loud sigh: Exasperation, usually followed by explanation. I don't communicate this way, as it really doesn't work at all.
That's okay: I generally only say this in response to an apology, so it either means it's really okay (nothing to apologize for) or it's not okay but we're okay and I forgive you.
Thanks: I also say and mean this often. The only sarcasm is as a joke.
Whatever: I'm tired of talking about this, out of energy, don't care.
Don't worry about it, I got it: Means exactly what it says.
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It generally goes like this: I do something and then am not sure whether it was appropriate/well-advised. I proceed to apologize for any possible harm/inconvenience/discomfort. The recipient of the apology says "it's okay"/"that's alright"/etc. I am then left wondering whether that meant "what you did originally was okay with me and will still be okay if you do it again in the future" or "what you did originally was not okay, but your apology has ameliorated any offense I might have taken -- just don't do it again." I'm still hoping futilely to somehow work out a way to discern this without asking and thus revealing my ignorance on the topic of the okay-ness of things. ;)
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I'm all for postponing inappropriate discussions for more appropriate times, and I've found it's sometimes helpful to give notice of the impending discussion because people tend to react poorly when caught off-guard by the beginning of an unpleasant discussion.