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Our Metamour Relationship Is Our Relationship, Not Our Mutual Partner's Responsibility
I have written about the benefits of metamour relationships before, and I recently wrote about my frustration with feeling burdened by the default responsibility to maintain metamour relationships, and I'm also working on the section of my breakup book regarding the metamour's role in a breakup. So this subject in general is on my mind.
I just want to make it clear to any current, former, and future metamours that, regardless of what happens between myself and any partner, our metamour relationship is on its own merits. If we find value in a connection, I will maintain that connection independent of what is happening between myself and the person who brought us together.
If we have largely unrelated orbits, I will not force a connection between us no matter what is happening between myself and the person who brought us together.
Our connection is our connection. We may not have been brought into each other's circles if it hadn't been for a mutual partner, but the size of those circles and how we maintain them is between us. Our connection may be *influenced* by what's going on between either of us and our mutual partner, because, as I said before, we are not islands.
But you are not my friend, or my distant acquaintance, or even someone I don't connect with, *because* of our mutual partner. You were *introduced* to me because of that mutual partner, but what we are together is because of who you and I are as people.
I just want to make it clear to any current, former, and future metamours that, regardless of what happens between myself and any partner, our metamour relationship is on its own merits. If we find value in a connection, I will maintain that connection independent of what is happening between myself and the person who brought us together.
If we have largely unrelated orbits, I will not force a connection between us no matter what is happening between myself and the person who brought us together.
Our connection is our connection. We may not have been brought into each other's circles if it hadn't been for a mutual partner, but the size of those circles and how we maintain them is between us. Our connection may be *influenced* by what's going on between either of us and our mutual partner, because, as I said before, we are not islands.
But you are not my friend, or my distant acquaintance, or even someone I don't connect with, *because* of our mutual partner. You were *introduced* to me because of that mutual partner, but what we are together is because of who you and I are as people.