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Love Languages And Baking Cupcakes
Saw a low-key body-shaming #UnicornHunter ad that mentioned trying not to eat cupcakes every day. Realized that eating cupcakes is one of my unspoken Relationship Expectations for my partners, since I bake and I specialize in cupcakes with my own special frosting recipe.
Guess I need to start including "must eat my cupcakes" in the Relationship Duties section of my user-manual. #DealBreaker
#AlsoDoNotTouchMyKnivesWithoutPermission #IfISayAParticularSongMakesAGoodDanceSongThenDropWhatYouAreDoingAndDanceWithMe #ThingsToMakeJorethHappy #FunnyButMyMetamoursAreAwesomeAboutHelpingMeEatMyCupcakes #NoThisIsNotAEuphamism #EvenFranklinLovedMyWeddingCupcakesAndHeDoesNotLikeCupcakes #BakingIsOneOfMyLoveLanguages (#ActsOfServiceDialect)
This deserves it's own post, I think. I don't have a lot of time right now to really expand on this, but I am working on an expansion of the 5 Love Languages that will help people to determine what their LL is by going backwards - instead of reading the descriptions and trying to see if you fit in it, figuring out *what you are getting* out of a particular activity and matching that with one of the LLs.
Anyway, "baking" is, to me, one of my Love Languages. It's a dialect of Acts of Service.
Something that seems to confuse a lot of people who haven't really delved into the LL theory is that there may be only 5 LLs, but there are a ton of dialects, just like real languages. And just like real languages, some of those dialects are easy to see how they derived from the parent language and some are difficult, but they all derive from *something*, and often are influenced by something else.
So, for me, baking for other people is one specific way that I perform an Act of Service to show that I care about people. But it's also a form of self-care and relaxation, so that makes it difficult to identify that it falls under the Acts of Service LL.
That's the thing with all these "personality type" systems - the systems themselves are simplistic while people are messy and complicated and often behaviours serve multiple purposes or have multiple influences, making it difficult to pin down the *why* of things. They're handy short-cuts in the communication toolbox, but only if everyone you're communicating with knows what you mean by them.
I still recommend using these tools. Just know their limitations, which most people don't.
Guess I need to start including "must eat my cupcakes" in the Relationship Duties section of my user-manual. #DealBreaker
#AlsoDoNotTouchMyKnivesWithoutPermission #IfISayAParticularSongMakesAGoodDanceSongThenDropWhatYouAreDoingAndDanceWithMe #ThingsToMakeJorethHappy #FunnyButMyMetamoursAreAwesomeAboutHelpingMeEatMyCupcakes #NoThisIsNotAEuphamism #EvenFranklinLovedMyWeddingCupcakesAndHeDoesNotLikeCupcakes #BakingIsOneOfMyLoveLanguages (#ActsOfServiceDialect)
This deserves it's own post, I think. I don't have a lot of time right now to really expand on this, but I am working on an expansion of the 5 Love Languages that will help people to determine what their LL is by going backwards - instead of reading the descriptions and trying to see if you fit in it, figuring out *what you are getting* out of a particular activity and matching that with one of the LLs.
Anyway, "baking" is, to me, one of my Love Languages. It's a dialect of Acts of Service.
Something that seems to confuse a lot of people who haven't really delved into the LL theory is that there may be only 5 LLs, but there are a ton of dialects, just like real languages. And just like real languages, some of those dialects are easy to see how they derived from the parent language and some are difficult, but they all derive from *something*, and often are influenced by something else.
So, for me, baking for other people is one specific way that I perform an Act of Service to show that I care about people. But it's also a form of self-care and relaxation, so that makes it difficult to identify that it falls under the Acts of Service LL.
That's the thing with all these "personality type" systems - the systems themselves are simplistic while people are messy and complicated and often behaviours serve multiple purposes or have multiple influences, making it difficult to pin down the *why* of things. They're handy short-cuts in the communication toolbox, but only if everyone you're communicating with knows what you mean by them.
I still recommend using these tools. Just know their limitations, which most people don't.