Different explanations for different people. In one case, it was definitely privilege, as the argument was, in fact, about privilege & his privilege was leaking out all over the page. In other cases, there was probably some of that just-not-understanding going on. I'm thinking of one in particular who is a coworker, and we have a very ribbing sort of atmosphere at work, so he probably just didn't know that I was *actually* angry, or that telling me to "relax, it's just a joke" would make it worse.

When I get particularly irritated is when these are people who *know* me, as in, they follow me online, they've had conversations with me, they *know* that I have certain topics that are triggers for me, they know that I use the internet for ranting, not rational dialog, they've seen these same arguments break out over and over again.

That's when it becomes a "you're not paying attention to me, you aren't listening, you don't even care", which is especially hurtful when it's not some random stranger online who, of course, doesn't care.