Yet Another Online Skeezball

[joreth]

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  crazy question! :D

  Nov. 7, 2009 – 2:37pm

  i know it's a weird question but.... I am an exhibitionist, and I am asking as politely as possible if you wouldn't mind watching me on webcam just for fun. I do apologize if this is not your thing, but I'd really appreciate it.

  Flag

  30% Enemy68% Friend68% MatchMessage from ClearlyOriginal

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  Just now!

  READ THE PROFILE.
  
  I EXPLICITLY state I do not care for sexual come-ons. I don't care how politely you word your request, if you show that you have not even bothered to take the time to read the profile of the person you are hoping will acquiesce to you request, you are being very rude indeed.
  
  Your email is completely impersonal and since you did exactly what I request not to do in the first paragraph of my profile, indicating that you didn't even bother to read it, I assume this is a form email. That says that you are lazy and disrespectful.
  
  So fuck off.

It's not the kinky sex ... I'm a voyeur and I've had partners who are exhibitionists.  It's not even the casual nature of the request ... I endorse casual sex providing everyone involved is getting what they want out of the relationship.

It's the fact that I very clearly state, in the first goddamn paragraph, not to email me asking for casual sex, kinky sex, or anything sexual at all.  This email reads like a form letter.  These two details tell me that this person doesn't give a shit about who I am or what I want.  He didn't take the time to read my profile, or if he does, he blatantly ignored an explicit request, and he didn't take the time to even construct a unique first-contact email.

People just don't seem to understand that lack of anger does not = "polite".  The fact that he didn't call me names or assault me or do anything aggressive or violent is not the only thing that makes behaviour "polite".  When someone makes a request of you for how the person wishes to be treated, and you ignore the request, do the opposite of the request, YOU ARE NOT BEING POLITE EVEN IF YOU USE NICE WORDS.

The Golden Rule is bullshit.  Don't treat people how you wish to be treated because everyone wants to be treated differently.  Treat people how THEY want to be treated.  Holding open a door for me is not polite when you have to tear it out of my hands or argue with me to get me to relinquish the door.  You could make a case that I'm being obstinate, but that doesn't change the fact that YOU not being polite if you do something I ask you not to do, no matter how good your intentions are or how pretty the words you use are.

So, public ridicule it is!

Comments

[zaiah.livejournal.com]

Nods! Franklin was also saying his icebreaker messages have also all had a disclaimer attached.. didn't see a disclaimer on my recent one, but should go look and see. I woulda rolled my eyes and deleted it.. I don't quite understand why you would rather flame back, but it's certainly your prerogative!

[joreth]

I serve as a lesson. Without people like me, people like this don't even know that they've done something offensive. Since most of my friends are male, I hear from countless guys who say things like "I don't get it, why do women not respond?" and "what do you mean that was sexist?" because no one ever bothered to correct them.

Maybe this guy won't learn his lesson, but the people watching will. I have actually had people approach me to say that they used to compliment women on their appearance, get no response, and not understand what they did wrong. If I (and people like me) hadn't made an example of some of the worst of the lot, the honestly misinformed ones would never understand what the problem is.