tag:dreamwidth.org,2017-04-10:3024394The Journal Of The InnKeeperRanty Lessons by JorethJoreth2020-05-10T07:16:08Ztag:dreamwidth.org,2017-04-10:3024394:421112The Cats Have Conversations2020-05-10T07:15:20Z2020-05-10T07:16:08Zpublic0<div align="justify">Before I lost my last apartment, I had been feeding a bunch of feral cats and I started documenting the Saga of the Street Cats on Facebook. This is one of those entries about a year and a half ago:<br /><br />I think the feral street cats are having meetings about me. One of the youngish ferals just popped her head through the kitchen door (which I can see from my bedroom when I'm at the computer) and another clearly not-feral cat, whom I have never met before, came through just behind her.<br /><br />The non-feral is wearing a clean collar with a bell, and as soon as they saw me, the feral backed out but the non-feral meowed and came right to me for pettings.<br /><br />Here's how I imagine the conversation going.<br /><br />"Dude, so there's this human who feeds us!"<br /><br />"No way! With this damn bell on, I can't sneak up on prey very easily. Where is this human?"<br /><br />"Nah, man, she feeds us, but you have to, like, get her attention. She only brings out food when she notices that we're there."<br /><br />"So?"<br /><br />"So?! You have to go into the HOUSE!"<br /><br />"So? Humans can be nice. I have a pair."<br /><br />"Alright big shot, if you're so brave, I dare you to be the one to get her attention!"<br /><br />"No prob! Just show me where she is!"<br /><br />...<br /><br />"Here's the place. She's just inside."<br /><br />"She just leaves the door open like that?"<br /><br />"What, you scared?"<br /><br />"No way! They just don't normally leave their doors open. It's a house! Houses are nice! They have food and warm spots and things to explore!"<br /><br />"I don't believe you."<br /><br />"They do! C'mon, I'll show you!"<br /><br />"I don't think you'll really go inside!"<br /><br />"I will too! Now who's the scaredy cat?"<br /><br />"Am not! If you can go in, I can go in!"<br /><br />"OK then, let's go!"<br /><br />"I don't see anyone. Oh shit! She's right there! And she saw me! Outie!"<br /><br />"What? A PERSON! I'VE MISSED YOUR KIND SO MUCH! GIVE ME PETTINGS! GIVE ME FOOD! YOU'RE SO AMAZING! WHAT'S OVER HERE?! WAIT, BUT WHAT'S OVER THERE? WHERE ARE MY PETTINGS?! OH LOOK FOOD! OK bored now, bye!"<br /><br />"Dude, you're fucking wild, man!"<br /><br />"What? I told you it was nothing!"<br /><br />#StreetCatSaga #EgyptianFerals #TheCatChronicals #Toxoplasmosis #DamnParasite #CatSlave #MoreImportantThatCatsLikeMeThanPeopleLikeMe #FeralCatsAreMyPatronus #ThisIsNotMyCat</div><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=joreth&ditemid=421112" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments