(Straight) Men need to drop the comparison of "I'd love it if more women did that to me," and start imagining how they'd feel if another man did it to them. Not in a "zomg, watch out for those evil gayz" sense, but to make it a fair comparison: completely unwanted, from someone possibly bigger and stronger than you, etc. Maybe then they'll understand the fear and violation that they seem to think should not be a big deal for women...