joreth: (Purple Mobius)

* I am committed to be as clear about my expectations as possible, both with myself and with my partners.

This is another really old commitment and should be as clear as the intention of the commitment itself. I am a direct communicator and it is my opinion that direct communication is the best form of communication between people in romantic relationships. [livejournal.com profile] tacit says that we can't reasonably expect to get what we want if we don't ask for it. People suck at telepathy, no matter what those wooager "psychics" say. We just can't do it. I cannot expect my partners to read my mind. However, as established [in previously posted commtments] and elsewhere, I believe that my partners are with me because they love and cherish me, and I believe that part of love includes wanting to meet each other's reasonable expectations whenever possible. But if my partners are not aware of my expectations, then they can't hope to meet them even if they intend to meet them.

Dr. Gary Chapman, of the Love Languages books, says that it's important to tell our partners how best to love us. We need roadmaps and instructions on how to best love each other. That's what my entire Me Manual tag is for - an instruction manual for how best to love and understand me. But even telling my partners about my expectations won't work if I'm not clear about my expectations to myself. Clear communication starts with clear thoughts. In order to clearly communicate my expectations, I need to know what my expectations even are. I am committed to practicing introspection so that I can understand myself and my expectations, so that I can further communicate those expectations to my partners so that those expectations get met whenever possible.

Date: 7/25/16 12:07 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] belenen.livejournal.com
*nods* I think I got this idea indirectly from you, via [livejournal.com profile] rextrocular who has a tag for a 'user manual.' I have one too: http://belenen.livejournal.com/tag/care%20and%20feeding%20of%20belenens

Date: 7/27/16 11:29 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] blackrosemoth.livejournal.com
"What am I committing to in the absence of emotional or physical monogamy?" Was the whole crux of my husband's and my re-wedding! It was the question essentially posed to the crowd by the person who oversaw it. Awesome. :)

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