I don't usually listen to regular radio, and when I do, I only listen to the music and I channel surf during radio talk. The only regular exceptions are traffic reports since I only listen to the radio in the car. But today, as I was channel surfing, I just happened to hit a station right as a DJ said "don't tell anyone you're a polydactylidite or whatever" and that caught my attention. So I listened and, sure enough, it was a female polyamorous caller getting rudely insulted by a couple of morning DJs.
I was almost at work and they went to commercial and did not return before I had to get out of my car. So I went to the website and found a recording of the show this morning. I was appalled. Please, everyone, we need to inundate this radio station and these DJs with respectful, intelligent letters telling these assholes that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable. Differences of opinions are, and differences in personal choices are, but there is no reason or right to just flat out being an asshole.
Basically, one of these guys, I don't know which one, fancy's himself a "life coach", suitable to give advice on how to live life, or so he says in a segment right before this one. A woman called in, I think, to ask how to handle people who treat her rudely when they find out about her polyamory. I'm not entirely sure this was the question because she kept getting interrupted to be called names like whore.
She is married and has 3 kids by her husband. She has a live-in boyfriend and is pregnant by him. As far as I could tell, the situation is happy as she mentioned her two partners are friends. She started out saying that she was polyamorous, and when the DJs stumbled over the term and asked her, she explained that she was married and had a boyfriend. They responded:
"Oh, so you're a whore"
She giggled and tried to explain in between their insults the situation she found herself in. I have to admit that she was a much better sport than I would have been. Here are a selection of quotes from the show:
"You have no respect for either one of these guys"
"the more you talk, the goofier you look"
"the best thing you can do is shut your mouth about it and don't tell anyone you're a polyactyldite. If you don't want reactions, shut your face"
"quit trying to sound intelligent, it's not working for you"
"you cocky stupid dumb bitch who thinks she's really cool but really isn't"
"you're stupid, basically. You're starved for attention, that's all you want is attention, you wanna act like you're something different and you're not. You're like every other lost chick who thinks she's sexy and you're not. I bet you're pale white, you're fat, you're disgusting"
She claimed that she didn't care that people gave her wierd looks, but she only wished they gave her the same amount of respect as a fellow human that she gave to them in spite of their differences. The DJ asked why. She stuttered a bit, clearly not expecting that anyone would disagree, that anyone would think it is acceptable to give differing levels of respect to different people. She countered by asking if the DJs approved of poor treatment of homosexuals or lesbians for their lifestyle choices. They responded:
"don't compare yourself to a homosexual or lesbian" and "you weren't born this way, you didn't make this choice at birth, you made that conscious decision"
I very sorely wanted to call in to explain that, much like straight men, poly people can be "born" that way and later "choose" to engage in relationships according to their nature, just as gay men are born gay but choose to engage in gay relationships, and straight men are born straight but choose to engage in straight relationships. Just as straight men can be born with a healthy, normal libido but still choose to be celibate. We all choose our actions, but we do not necessarily choose our inclinations. Anyway, I'm probably preaching to the choir here. I didn't have their number, so I couldn't call. Next up, he tried to get her to prove his stereotype by asking her a bunch of offensive quesions (not offensive because I think that kind of person is offensive, but offensive because 1) they're assumptions and 2) there's a second assumption that these traits are bad). However, she answered no to each one:
"Please tell me you weigh more than 180 lbs"
"Please tell me somewhere in your house you have a doorway with beads you have to walk through
"Please tell me you have more than 5 tattoos somewhere"
"Please tell me you have something wierd pierced"
He finally stopped insulting her and just told her that it was all her fault, if she just stopped telling people she was poly, then people would stop insulting her. She made the mistake (IMO) of saying that it was habit for her because she's very involved in community awareness. So he ended the conversation with a last parting shot:
"See, I was right, you like the attention, otherwise known now as 'community awareness'"
The website with a link to the audio recording is http://wjrr.com/pages/lexandterry.html and this particular exchange takes place approximately 41 minutes into the show - but I think this might change every day, as I didn't see an archive link or any way to choose which show to listen to. You can email them directly at firstname.lastname@example.org or you can call them at 866-977-Do Us (3687). I strongly recommend copying the program director in on your correspondece, at email@example.com and please post this warning and your own exchanges on any and all personal blogs, websites, etc. to spread the word. All names and other means of contact can be found on the station's contactus page at http://wjrr.com/pages/contact.html
I'm posting my half of an IM exchange with someone who chatted with me a bit about this issue and what they're writing because I talked a little bit about some other things they said in other portions of the show and some of my opinions about that. I'll be posting my email to them later when I've written the final draft:
J0RETH: it's just so frustrating, I mean, not everyone has to become poly, and not everyone even has to believe it's the best choice
J0RETH: but everyone in a so-called "free society" needs to allow everyone else to make their own choices free of condemnation or fear
J0RETH: I don't yell at monogamous people for "flaunting" their monogamous choices when they talk about their wives on the radio show
J0RETH: they're very mysogynistic - earlier in the show they basically told a guy he deserved the shitty treatment he got from his ex because she was a stripper and you can't expect any better bheaviour from a stripper
J0RETH: at one point, the DJ yelled at the woman for giving him as a stranger TMI by talking about her husband and bf
J0RETH: note, she did not give sexual details, she merely identified the type of relationship she had with them
J0RETH: yet, he's mentioned several times later in the show his wife and kids
J0RETH: I didn't want to know about his sex life, but I know he's straight and monogamous because he mentioned a wife
If anyone else wants to post their emails or a link to their own journals/websites about this here in the comments, they'd be welcome!